Animal House
(He makes it look like I'm a great parent. Thank you kiddo!)Philip, who rarely goes anywhere without me and Max, went off like a...
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Everyone knows that it is not my life's ambition to be surrounded by children. If it was I would have done one or more of...
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I love the beach. Not warm beaches. Not sunny beaches full of bikinis and tropical drinks and "blond" people and big boobs and muscles...
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The Yamhill County Animal Control ShelterI don't remember this dude's name but he was quiet and huge and powerful looking but also seemed very interested...
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(To give them something they can use and maybe make a day in their life a little easier.) There are a lot of things broken...
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A couple of things that bear saying: it is blaringly obvious that I am undermedicated right now. I can't afford to return to the psychiatrist...
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When I was a kid one of my favorite things to do on Christmas was to go with my family to the movies. We didn't...
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There are just the three of us, plus the dog, like a small tribe of hooligans trying figure out how to navigate in a sea...
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I'm always sorry when I bleed into the fabric as though I never heard it come rushing through the weave of winter. As though...
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Sometimes being a parent is like being held at knife point for twenty years. At any moment, if you make the wrong move you're...
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A few weeks ago Max announced that he didn't finish a test that his teacher said he had to finish in order to pass...
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One of the hardest things about being a parent is having to make decisions for your child that may come back to haunt them...
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All the minutes of my life feel interminably long, as though I was always throwing my watches in the wash and stopping them with...
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Dear Max,You have always demanded nothing less than the truth from your dad and I and there's going to come a day when you...
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About a half an hour ago I was inviting the devil to tango with me. I was ready to go down in flames to...
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I was going to write a post all about how parenting sucks. I was also going to write a post about trying to find...
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The first class. I am a person of many anxieties. Firsts are often the worst. Firsts with sweat are ten times worse than firsts...
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It only took us three years to convince Max to try taking a martial arts class. Three years of people constantly telling us we...
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My wild thistles blooming all over. I thought it was time to show everyone what the sunshine has been bringing to our garden.One of my...
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Yesterday I went to the market, the discount grocery store I go to, and I put 7 bags of Goldfish crackers on the belt...
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Our lovely Sex Link, Pearl, died today. I found her in a heap under the straw and dirt as though she died in mid-dust...
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I have learned today that one thing my kid can't handle is a play-date with more than one kid at a time. He becomes...
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If anyone had told me, 9 years ago, that I would spend much of my time wrestling, rough housing, patching up bloody noses 15...
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If becoming a zen parent is your goal (and I think it should be, if you're a parent) the first thing you need to...
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excuse n. 1.an explanation offered as a reason for being excused; a plea offered in extenuation of a fault or for release from an...
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My tulips, planted ridiculously late, are blooming! A few lettuces are almost ready for harvesting and many tiny lettuce seedlings have sprouted. At last! The...
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I am a mix of both excitement and stress right now over the state of my family's heads. I have begun my parenting homework...
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Every day I have the same conversation with Max:Max: Wanna do something with me mama?Me: Yeah! What do you want to do?Max: Let's play...
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When you get a diagnosis of any serious kind for your child it's like registering for a life-long class for which you are going...
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I have wished many times in my 8 years as a mother that there was some guide for how to get together with other...
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When Riana gave me my tarot reading for my birthday I cried but was unsurprised. It has been three weeks since then and everything...
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This morning really kicked my ass. I was ready to open a bottle of wine by 6:48am which is the exact moment when Philip...
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A typical school morning in our house involves lengthy negotiations over the subject of eating breakfast, a few breakfast re-dos, constant nagging at the kid...
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There are two kinds of beaches. The kind that is packed with people all vying for space to build sand castles, boogie board, sun bathe,...
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My dad's weddingMy brother Ezekiel.My sister Tara.Me.These are my three favorite pictures from 2008. The picture of my sister is only a tiny little lie,...
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What you should know about my extraordinary kid:He knows when you are lying.He will kick you in the balls if you try to do anything...
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Max and I made a horrible discovery today. We saw something no human should ever have to see. Especially humans who rarely come in contact...
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I've been thinking about teen pregnancy and how it seems so difficult for people to find a way to dissuade young people from getting knocked...
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It's been raining all day and I've enjoyed it from beginning to end. I woke up at 5:30 am to hear it dropping loudly on...
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My Ghetto door keeps out: people soliciting, proselytizers, neighbors, bill collectors, and trick or treaters.Have I mentioned how stressful I find Halloween? It's been a...
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Dot, the head of poultry operations at the Williamson Farmhouse, has signaled to the rest of the flock that moulting should be in full progress....
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(is not a medical mystery)Sometimes there really is something wrong. This is why we go to the doctor even when we don't see any visible...
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I am impervious to sentimental bursts at most of the signs of maturation in my child that many moms succumb to frequently as their "babies"...
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I want to end this day with something like an elegant word. I feel one chapter in my life slipping away in a long sigh,...
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Some days, even though you're not supposed to be imbibing anything zingy, you just have to. Life DEMANDS that you have not only a Meyer...
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Letting go is hard to do. Especially in a culture of mass information. My kid is almost eight years old and I have just, for...
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and other domestic thoughtsLet the pictures of this post tell a calm story of sweet walks beside the hazelnut orchard because I don't have much...
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like syphilis, only worseI think eye candy is great. I love it. Especially when it's red and can be plastered all over my kitchen and...
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Not his school face.Today is the first day of school. Max starts at a new school this year because of our move. So not only...
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(and gorgeous creatures too)My mom and her newly adopted Bernese Mountain dog Nadia. This is my mom's favorite breed. She likes her animals to be...
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One of the things I love about kids is that they don't pretend to be shocked by things. A group of kids finds a dead...
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is the new karaokeCooking for a lot of people is exhilarating when you don't have to do it every day. If I had been a...
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(and thanks for all the eggs!)Henna is the dark reddish brown hen third from the left.The day opened with a blanket of heat over the...
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Getting up at 5am is an ass-kicker. I remember my life as an insomniac, back before I got pregnant and suddenly couldn't get enough sleep...
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(or: how to ruin perfectly good humans)I remember my childhood summers as a time that I ran wild with friends in Lithia Park, getting dizzy...
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Tadpoles are like minuscule vessels of childhood joy. It seems fitting that in this house, one that we love and feel right in, we should...
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There is no better natural pedicure than the beach. My feet get so rough and dry and callused that they are generally not too pretty....
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I miss our hens. I miss hearing them squawk, shuffle, coo, cluck, argue, and preen. A collection of noises that I find soothing, therapeutic, and...
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Even when life is pretty damn good there are bound to be those days when you find out that the Royal family is not the...
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(advice from a happily married woman)One thing that never ceases to annoy me is when people talk about having babies as though it will "cement"...
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This is a close up view of one of Philip's pieces of art. I know, he's a genius. It's what he tells me all the...
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I cannot describe how tough it is to capture these girls well in pictures. Like all immature mammals they are in constant motion and my...
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More outdoor kitty picturesChecking out the world from under the BBQMax is small, Pippa is smallest.Yesterday turned out to be a stellar day. Other than...
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we run on Angelina time around hereRemember how I was going to give this lovely gift ensemble to someone who commented on my Food Related...
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The vet says TWO MORE WEEKS OF QUARANTINE. The ring worm is almost gone but almost isn't good enough to set these babies free in...
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The next design star has finally arrived.Now, I've just done an exhaustive two page google search on my newest multi-dollar idea to make sure that...
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It was after this picture was taken that I realized how wrong it is to tuck t-shirts into pants of any kind. At least for...
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Pippa seems to be a pretty laid back gal. She has started knocking a purr around in her ribs every time I pick her up...
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We wanted two kittens. We wanted them in a month or two. Like, perhaps after we move. We hoped for young ones. Today my friend...
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We rarely go on outings as a family. Mostly this is my fault. I do not travel well with children. I used to love to...
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May 1995 - January 23, 2008Labels: cat, dead pet, ferocious, Ozark, wonderful kitty...
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How does one go about watching another being die? Are we supposed to wear a certain face? A speakingly sad posture? Is there an...
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One night in 1994 I had a dream in which I found a kitten and in the dream I knew his name was Ozark and...
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Let There Be PeaceWhat I love about having a small family is that our Christmas isn't a giant frenzy of crazy parties, tense family gatherings,...
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(with love, for Capello)I have to think of my brain like it's a giant bladder with a UTI. It hurts so much to hold everything...
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For the first time, ever, we have managed to put up our Christmas tree at the same time that most other people do it, rather...
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Andrea, from California, read that I was having a hankering for kiwis and like a guardian angel sent to protect me from scurvy-she sent me...
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(it could only happen here)This post is full of disgusting discussions of vomit and things that a woman is never supposed to say. Consider yourself...
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I wish the leaves would finish falling already. I'm impatient for the full blow of winter. Sometimes, no, not sometimes, a lot of the time...
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A noble side. The much maligned Brussels sprouts.Our turkey, caught off guard.A sizable beast weighing in at over 10 pounds. This baby could feed a...
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There are few things my boy likes more than being loaded down with fake weapons and tools for spying. What does it say about him?...
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My kid ate this yesterday! (Shhhhh. He's eating some now, so don't say a word or the magic spell will break.) To most parents this...
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The diary of a lousy excuse for a mom who is also bad cook.My kid won't eat this but I'm sure yours will.I have just...
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It is only the beginning of the school year and already we are proving to be Max's teacher's challenging family. Not only is Max slower...
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We now have no where to eat. I guess it's time to clean out the new big pantry space in the garage. I love the...
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I spent ALL of Sunday canning. I made two quadruple batches of marinated two bean salad*, ten pints of salsa, five pints of dilly beans...
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Why does this bairn look so dispirited? How can a kid be so low on a Friday? And anyway, when you're six years old, isn't...
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Yesterday I neither canned anything, nor made any duvet covers. Instead, I ran errands. I went to the newspaper office to exchange home canned goods...
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My plan for this week was to go to the gym every single morning since I am now a free woman. I went yesterday and...
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Late into the night my sewing machine was tapping out it's non-encoded* rhythms as we worked together to cover some cushions for a neighbor in...
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In about thirty seconds from the moment this serene picture was snapped, the subject experienced a little internal combustion.I told the subject that I would...
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Hell might look like this. (Isn't it funny how often I refer to "hell" when I don't actually believe in it? I am intrigued by...
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Has anyone else noticed the trend amongst mothers to write blog letters to their tender children for posterity? I too have had the urge to...
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Pets, people, kids, fleas, bones, dust, crumbs, fur, laundry, papers, receipts, flies, infirmity, FIV, poo samples, scabies, bills, litter, piss, mildew, dishes, Legos, lint, scraps,...
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(my kid just told me he wants to die)Warning: this is another very dark post.This post is filled with pretty pictures depicting a rather pastoral...
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By now, if you've been paying attention around here at all, you are aware that I think children are the most adorable creatures on earth...
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Getting up at 5:30am is my favorite thing. We all got up early to take my mom to the hospital for her replacement hip surgery....
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The store isn't open today, so I plan to work on my garden beds. When we first made them we all joked about taking pictures...
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I have never eaten rhubarb. The fact that the leaves are poisonous makes it seem like one of those dangerous foods that I tend not...
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aka: evil incarnateI spent a lot of time on the heating mat reading "Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan. Though my back does feel improved, I...
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I am a semantics junkie. It's a challenge to always say exactly what you mean. So many of the world's messes are made (in my...
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Max has well over two hundred bottle caps which he has collected, not from our kitchen as you might have imagined, but from everywhere he...
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mar-tyr n. 1. a person who willingly suffers death rather than renounce his or her religion. 2. a person who is put to death or...
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I have long been aware of the great divides existent in the world of motherhood and all their attending separate creeds. Often I stand outside...
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Snow days suck. I mean, it doesn't suck to have snow lying around, and I love it when it's falling, but when your kid stays...
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(or: How McMinnville has not discovered the magic of tire chains)Yesterday was a "snow day" for McMinnville's whole school district even though there was only...
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(a trip to Pacific City)We were going to go to Astoria yesterday, but changed our minds. If there's one thing I have learned from Deepak...
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It is difficult to catch such an evil instrument in a clear photo because it defies the casual hunter by never resting where you last...
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I ran out of the butterfly gift decorations.So I had to come up with something new that I could make quickly.I like it.Highlights of our...
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My boy is really sick. We took him to the doctor two days ago to get a strep test. He didn't have strep. But now...
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On Wednesday night Max was supposed to go sing with his school. You know the drill, about two hundred cute kids all dressed up in...
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I have not been able to convince Max to help me make anything in the kitchen since he was about three. Not even cookies. Not...
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Max has been waking up at five thirty am for the last three mornings. He crawls into bed with us even though this almost knocks...
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(This one's for my little lieberschlebin)Here he is, three parts curmudgeonly old man, one part explosively enthusiastic six year old boy. The person who used...
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This is how we feel right now. I haven't even shaken the dust from my shoes yet and I'm here to note the highlights of...
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Contagion is a nasty word. It carries with it strong evil magic. It can be the scepter of death. The harbinger of armageddon. It conjures...
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I don't know why shoes and socks make me so happy. I'm sure an entire doctorate could be based on this issue. I don't actually...
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(and a school conference)There are no pictures for this post because Philip and I don't always speak the same language to each other. We both...
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Mark's harvest hands. Mark hasn't had a day off in weeks. He doesn't even know we opened up some of the pickles.Chick has really missed...
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*Caution: If the darker side of childhood makes you squeamish, skip this post. Also, if you are an expecting parent, please don't read either,...
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(Which is why I put this picture on this post instead of a picture of Max's blood) It's really no secret by now that Max...
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Chickens used to be jungle birds long before man decided to team up with them in such domestic persuits as cock-fighting, making Coq-Au-Vin, and stealing...
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Yesterday evening Max suddenly complained that his stomach hurt, his head hurt, and his throat hurt. We thought this was him expressing how bad...
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I did not have a child so that I could see myself and Philip reflected back at us every day. I did not have...
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This is Chick, the first dog I've ever had.This is Chick as a puppy, she looked more like a pit then, less like a lab....
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The threaded piece of wire that worked it's way out of Philip's humorous bone has been slowly working it's way up through his bicep...
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Lately we've become addicted to watching "The Dog Whisperer" which is a brilliant show featuring Cesar Millan who teaches people how to be pack...
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