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Animal House

Bullying Doesn't Always Lead To Suicide

A couple of weeks ago I was with Max was in a class type situation that wasn't actually a part of his school.  The... Read more »

Roxy The Lost Dog

A Happy Ending Update:  We got a call from Roxy's people this afternoon after they saw our "found" poster at Wilco.  She has gone home... Read more »

The One Thing I'm Getting Right

Chelsea, Sam, and Max.  Max is about 6 months old here.A lot of parents comment that time passes too quickly, their kids are growing too... Read more »

Today We Take Down The Christmas Wreath

This week sure was a bitch.  It feels great to have reset my goals and Philip and I are in negotiations right now to reassess... Read more »

Single Parenting: What I Learned In One Week

(He makes it look like I'm a great parent.  Thank you kiddo!)Philip, who rarely goes anywhere without me and Max, went off like a... Read more »

Play-dates Should Be Reciprical: Are you putting out too much for your kid's friends?

Everyone knows that it is not my life's ambition to be surrounded by children.  If it was I would have done one or more of... Read more »

Favorite Things: Washed Up On The Sand

I love the beach.  Not warm beaches.  Not sunny beaches full of bikinis and tropical drinks and "blond" people and big boobs and muscles... Read more »

And on the last day, there was nothing but us dogs.

The Yamhill County Animal Control ShelterI don't remember this dude's name but he was quiet and huge and powerful looking but also seemed very interested... Read more »

Going To The Dogs

(To give them something they can use and maybe make a day in their life a little easier.) There are a lot of things broken... Read more »

Snow Is A Beautiful Silencer

A couple of things that bear saying: it is blaringly obvious that I am undermedicated right now.  I can't afford to return to the psychiatrist... Read more »

Small Celebrations

When I was a kid one of my favorite things to do on Christmas was to go with my family to the movies.  We didn't... Read more »

Just the three of us (and the dog).

There are just the three of us, plus the dog, like a small tribe of hooligans trying figure out how to navigate in a sea... Read more »

Happy Dirty Midnight Martinis

I'm always sorry when I bleed into the fabric as though I never heard it come rushing through the weave of winter.  As though... Read more »

In Between The Not Dying And Never Relaxing

Sometimes being a parent is like being held at knife point for twenty years.  At any moment, if you make the wrong move you're... Read more »

Report Cards Are Not Bullets

A few weeks ago Max announced that he didn't finish a test that his teacher said he had to finish in order to pass... Read more »

H1N1: Are You Scared Yet?

One of the hardest things about being a parent is having to make decisions for your child that may come back to haunt them... Read more »

Bright Lanterns

All the minutes of my life feel interminably long, as though I was always throwing my watches in the wash and stopping them with... Read more »

A Letter To My Golden Dragon Warrior Son

Dear Max,You have always demanded nothing less than the truth from your dad and I and there's going to come a day when you... Read more »

Why I Value The Education Available Through Public Schools

About a half an hour ago I was inviting the devil to tango with me.  I was ready to go down in flames to... Read more »

Can't Leave Summer Behind Fast Enough

I was going to write a post all about how parenting sucks.  I was also going to write a post about trying to find... Read more »

The First Jab-Cross-Hooks

The first class.  I am a person of many anxieties.  Firsts are often the worst.  Firsts with sweat are ten times worse than firsts... Read more »

The Family That Fights Together, Stays Together

It only took us three years to convince Max to try taking a martial arts class.  Three years of people constantly telling us we... Read more »

What The Sunshine Brought

My wild thistles blooming all over.  I thought it was time to show everyone what the sunshine has been bringing to our garden.One of my... Read more »

Know When To Shut Up

Yesterday I went to the market, the discount grocery store I go to, and I put 7 bags of Goldfish crackers on the belt... Read more »

So Long Sweet Bird, Pretty Pearl

Our lovely Sex Link, Pearl, died today.  I found her in a heap under the straw and dirt as though she died in mid-dust... Read more »

Sit Down With Frustration, Stand Up With Hope

I have learned today that one thing my kid can't handle is a play-date with more than one kid at a time.  He becomes... Read more »

Gluttons For Violence

If anyone had told me, 9 years ago, that I would spend much of my time wrestling, rough housing, patching up bloody noses 15... Read more »

Zen Parenting With Vodka

If becoming a zen parent is your goal (and I think it should be, if you're a parent) the first thing you need to... Read more »

There Is No Excuse For You

excuse n. 1.an explanation offered as a reason for being excused; a plea offered in extenuation of a fault or for release from an... Read more »

How Bright My Tulips Shine

My tulips, planted ridiculously late, are blooming!  A few lettuces are almost ready for harvesting and many tiny lettuce seedlings have sprouted. At last!  The... Read more »

The Kid's Got Wacky Wiring

I am a mix of both excitement and stress right now over the state of my family's heads.  I have begun my parenting homework... Read more »

Drawing Battle Lines, Again

Every day I have the same conversation with Max:Max: Wanna do something with me mama?Me: Yeah!  What do you want to do?Max: Let's play... Read more »

Doing My Parenting Homework

When you get a diagnosis of any serious kind for your child it's like registering for a life-long class for which you are going... Read more »

How To Avoid Playdate Bloodshed

I have wished many times in my 8 years as a mother that there was some guide for how to get together with other... Read more »

Say Hello To Anger, Angelina

When Riana gave me my tarot reading for my birthday I cried but was unsurprised.  It has been three weeks since then and everything... Read more »

Can I Have Wine For Breakfast?

This morning really kicked my ass.  I was ready to open a bottle of wine by 6:48am which is the exact moment when Philip... Read more »

Rigid Morning Routine

A typical school morning in our house involves lengthy negotiations over the subject of eating breakfast, a few breakfast re-dos, constant nagging at the kid... Read more »

Pacific City Beach

There are two kinds of beaches.  The kind that is packed with people all vying for space to build sand castles, boogie board, sun bathe,... Read more »

The Best Event Of 2008

My dad's weddingMy brother Ezekiel.My sister Tara.Me.These are my three favorite pictures from 2008. The picture of my sister is only a tiny little lie,... Read more »

Eight Years Old Today

What you should know about my extraordinary kid:He knows when you are lying.He will kick you in the balls if you try to do anything... Read more »

Strength Between The Pages

Max and I made a horrible discovery today. We saw something no human should ever have to see. Especially humans who rarely come in contact... Read more »

I Am The New Birth Control

I've been thinking about teen pregnancy and how it seems so difficult for people to find a way to dissuade young people from getting knocked... Read more »

Good Night Rain

It's been raining all day and I've enjoyed it from beginning to end. I woke up at 5:30 am to hear it dropping loudly on... Read more »

My Ghetto Door

My Ghetto door keeps out: people soliciting, proselytizers, neighbors, bill collectors, and trick or treaters.Have I mentioned how stressful I find Halloween? It's been a... Read more »

Moulting

Dot, the head of poultry operations at the Williamson Farmhouse, has signaled to the rest of the flock that moulting should be in full progress.... Read more »

Metal In Your Eye

(is not a medical mystery)Sometimes there really is something wrong. This is why we go to the doctor even when we don't see any visible... Read more »

Young American

I am impervious to sentimental bursts at most of the signs of maturation in my child that many moms succumb to frequently as their "babies"... Read more »

These Dirty Hands

I want to end this day with something like an elegant word. I feel one chapter in my life slipping away in a long sigh,... Read more »

A Girl Works Up A Thirst

Some days, even though you're not supposed to be imbibing anything zingy, you just have to. Life DEMANDS that you have not only a Meyer... Read more »

Letting Go

Letting go is hard to do. Especially in a culture of mass information. My kid is almost eight years old and I have just, for... Read more »

Walking The Dog

and other domestic thoughtsLet the pictures of this post tell a calm story of sweet walks beside the hazelnut orchard because I don't have much... Read more »

Walmart

like syphilis, only worseI think eye candy is great. I love it. Especially when it's red and can be plastered all over my kitchen and... Read more »

Back To School

Not his school face.Today is the first day of school. Max starts at a new school this year because of our move. So not only... Read more »

A Funny Family Of Freaks

(and gorgeous creatures too)My mom and her newly adopted Bernese Mountain dog Nadia. This is my mom's favorite breed. She likes her animals to be... Read more »

Kids In The Woods

One of the things I love about kids is that they don't pretend to be shocked by things. A group of kids finds a dead... Read more »

Shelling Peas

is the new karaokeCooking for a lot of people is exhilarating when you don't have to do it every day. If I had been a... Read more »

So Long Henna

(and thanks for all the eggs!)Henna is the dark reddish brown hen third from the left.The day opened with a blanket of heat over the... Read more »

Welcome To My Padded Cell

Getting up at 5am is an ass-kicker. I remember my life as an insomniac, back before I got pregnant and suddenly couldn't get enough sleep... Read more »

The Parent Trap

(or: how to ruin perfectly good humans)I remember my childhood summers as a time that I ran wild with friends in Lithia Park, getting dizzy... Read more »

150 Frogs

Tadpoles are like minuscule vessels of childhood joy. It seems fitting that in this house, one that we love and feel right in, we should... Read more »

Ocean

There is no better natural pedicure than the beach. My feet get so rough and dry and callused that they are generally not too pretty.... Read more »

Chicken Run

I miss our hens. I miss hearing them squawk, shuffle, coo, cluck, argue, and preen. A collection of noises that I find soothing, therapeutic, and... Read more »

Even When Life Is Pretty Damn Good

Even when life is pretty damn good there are bound to be those days when you find out that the Royal family is not the... Read more »

Partnership With Complications

(advice from a happily married woman)One thing that never ceases to annoy me is when people talk about having babies as though it will "cement"... Read more »

Marriage

This is a close up view of one of Philip's pieces of art. I know, he's a genius. It's what he tells me all the... Read more »

Kitten Candy

I cannot describe how tough it is to capture these girls well in pictures. Like all immature mammals they are in constant motion and my... Read more »

Without My Eyes

More outdoor kitty picturesChecking out the world from under the BBQMax is small, Pippa is smallest.Yesterday turned out to be a stellar day. Other than... Read more »

Food Related Gift Contest Winner

we run on Angelina time around hereRemember how I was going to give this lovely gift ensemble to someone who commented on my Food Related... Read more »

This Cute Could Kill You

The vet says TWO MORE WEEKS OF QUARANTINE. The ring worm is almost gone but almost isn't good enough to set these babies free in... Read more »

Move Over Heather Bailey!

The next design star has finally arrived.Now, I've just done an exhaustive two page google search on my newest multi-dollar idea to make sure that... Read more »

Siblings

It was after this picture was taken that I realized how wrong it is to tuck t-shirts into pants of any kind. At least for... Read more »

Kittens-R-Us

Pippa seems to be a pretty laid back gal. She has started knocking a purr around in her ribs every time I pick her up... Read more »

Sometimes when you ask for kittens, life drops you kittens

We wanted two kittens. We wanted them in a month or two. Like, perhaps after we move. We hoped for young ones. Today my friend... Read more »

Sudden Family Road Trip

We rarely go on outings as a family. Mostly this is my fault. I do not travel well with children. I used to love to... Read more »

Ozark

May 1995 - January 23, 2008Labels: cat, dead pet, ferocious, Ozark, wonderful kitty... Read more »

The Expected Guest

How does one go about watching another being die? Are we supposed to wear a certain face? A speakingly sad posture? Is there an... Read more »

The Story Of Our Dangerous Pet

One night in 1994 I had a dream in which I found a kitten and in the dream I knew his name was Ozark and... Read more »

Christmas Morning

Let There Be PeaceWhat I love about having a small family is that our Christmas isn't a giant frenzy of crazy parties, tense family gatherings,... Read more »

Censorship Of The Damned

(with love, for Capello)I have to think of my brain like it's a giant bladder with a UTI. It hurts so much to hold everything... Read more »

In The Mood

For the first time, ever, we have managed to put up our Christmas tree at the same time that most other people do it, rather... Read more »

A Gift More Precious Than Myrrh

Andrea, from California, read that I was having a hankering for kiwis and like a guardian angel sent to protect me from scurvy-she sent me... Read more »

Linking Emetophobia With Mother Love

(it could only happen here)This post is full of disgusting discussions of vomit and things that a woman is never supposed to say. Consider yourself... Read more »

Shall I Fall Down On My Knife Or Yours?

I wish the leaves would finish falling already. I'm impatient for the full blow of winter. Sometimes, no, not sometimes, a lot of the time... Read more »

A Vegetarian Local Thanksgiving

A noble side. The much maligned Brussels sprouts.Our turkey, caught off guard.A sizable beast weighing in at over 10 pounds. This baby could feed a... Read more »

My Own Small Spy

There are few things my boy likes more than being loaded down with fake weapons and tools for spying. What does it say about him?... Read more »

A Miracle On 18th Street

My kid ate this yesterday! (Shhhhh. He's eating some now, so don't say a word or the magic spell will break.) To most parents this... Read more »

Picky Eaters Anonymous

The diary of a lousy excuse for a mom who is also bad cook.My kid won't eat this but I'm sure yours will.I have just... Read more »

Congenital Misfits

It is only the beginning of the school year and already we are proving to be Max's teacher's challenging family. Not only is Max slower... Read more »

Winter Comes Swiftly

We now have no where to eat. I guess it's time to clean out the new big pantry space in the garage. I love the... Read more »

34 Pints And 6 Half Pints Later

I spent ALL of Sunday canning. I made two quadruple batches of marinated two bean salad*, ten pints of salsa, five pints of dilly beans... Read more »

Silver Nitrate Is A Bitch

Why does this bairn look so dispirited? How can a kid be so low on a Friday? And anyway, when you're six years old, isn't... Read more »

The Fruits Of Other People's Labor

Yesterday I neither canned anything, nor made any duvet covers. Instead, I ran errands. I went to the newspaper office to exchange home canned goods... Read more »

Back To School

My plan for this week was to go to the gym every single morning since I am now a free woman. I went yesterday and... Read more »

How To Wake Up On Sunday Morning

Late into the night my sewing machine was tapping out it's non-encoded* rhythms as we worked together to cover some cushions for a neighbor in... Read more »

A Brief Moment

In about thirty seconds from the moment this serene picture was snapped, the subject experienced a little internal combustion.I told the subject that I would... Read more »

A Million Little Packages

Hell might look like this. (Isn't it funny how often I refer to "hell" when I don't actually believe in it? I am intrigued by... Read more »

Another Mother Letter

Has anyone else noticed the trend amongst mothers to write blog letters to their tender children for posterity? I too have had the urge to... Read more »

Good Dog, Don't Worry, I'll Eat Your Fleas For You.

Pets, people, kids, fleas, bones, dust, crumbs, fur, laundry, papers, receipts, flies, infirmity, FIV, poo samples, scabies, bills, litter, piss, mildew, dishes, Legos, lint, scraps,... Read more »

Ordinary People

(my kid just told me he wants to die)Warning: this is another very dark post.This post is filled with pretty pictures depicting a rather pastoral... Read more »

Do they really need an education?

By now, if you've been paying attention around here at all, you are aware that I think children are the most adorable creatures on earth... Read more »

Hospital Air

Getting up at 5:30am is my favorite thing. We all got up early to take my mom to the hospital for her replacement hip surgery.... Read more »

Little garden graves

The store isn't open today, so I plan to work on my garden beds. When we first made them we all joked about taking pictures... Read more »

Let them eat rhubarb!

I have never eaten rhubarb. The fact that the leaves are poisonous makes it seem like one of those dangerous foods that I tend not... Read more »

High fructose corn syrup

aka: evil incarnateI spent a lot of time on the heating mat reading "Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan. Though my back does feel improved, I... Read more »

The question of worth

I am a semantics junkie. It's a challenge to always say exactly what you mean. So many of the world's messes are made (in my... Read more »

Bottle cap Connoisseur

Max has well over two hundred bottle caps which he has collected, not from our kitchen as you might have imagined, but from everywhere he... Read more »

The practical guide to parental martyrdom

mar-tyr n. 1. a person who willingly suffers death rather than renounce his or her religion. 2. a person who is put to death or... Read more »

The Puritanical Motherhood Witch Hunt

I have long been aware of the great divides existent in the world of motherhood and all their attending separate creeds. Often I stand outside... Read more »

All cooped up

Snow days suck. I mean, it doesn't suck to have snow lying around, and I love it when it's falling, but when your kid stays... Read more »

Another snow day

(or: How McMinnville has not discovered the magic of tire chains)Yesterday was a "snow day" for McMinnville's whole school district even though there was only... Read more »

Dog on a dune

(a trip to Pacific City)We were going to go to Astoria yesterday, but changed our minds. If there's one thing I have learned from Deepak... Read more »

An instrument of evil

It is difficult to catch such an evil instrument in a clear photo because it defies the casual hunter by never resting where you last... Read more »

I'm glad I asked

I ran out of the butterfly gift decorations.So I had to come up with something new that I could make quickly.I like it.Highlights of our... Read more »

Ma poor wee bairn

My boy is really sick. We took him to the doctor two days ago to get a strep test. He didn't have strep. But now... Read more »

Rebel Family

On Wednesday night Max was supposed to go sing with his school. You know the drill, about two hundred cute kids all dressed up in... Read more »

Cookies in the kitchen

I have not been able to convince Max to help me make anything in the kitchen since he was about three. Not even cookies. Not... Read more »

Is it morning yet? Now is it morning yet? Mom, when will it be morning?

Max has been waking up at five thirty am for the last three mornings. He crawls into bed with us even though this almost knocks... Read more »

McMinnville Gets Festive

(This one's for my little lieberschlebin)Here he is, three parts curmudgeonly old man, one part explosively enthusiastic six year old boy. The person who used... Read more »

Thanksgiving on Interstate 5

This is how we feel right now. I haven't even shaken the dust from my shoes yet and I'm here to note the highlights of... Read more »

Contagion: There's a plague on our house!

Contagion is a nasty word. It carries with it strong evil magic. It can be the scepter of death. The harbinger of armageddon. It conjures... Read more »

Throw the Monkey in with the chickens

I don't know why shoes and socks make me so happy. I'm sure an entire doctorate could be based on this issue. I don't actually... Read more »

The Pictures That Would Have Been

(and a school conference)There are no pictures for this post because Philip and I don't always speak the same language to each other. We both... Read more »

Pictures Of Everything But The Grand Opening

Mark's harvest hands. Mark hasn't had a day off in weeks. He doesn't even know we opened up some of the pickles.Chick has really missed... Read more »

The Future Predators Of America

*Caution: If the darker side of childhood makes you squeamish, skip this post. Also, if you are an expecting parent, please don't read either,... Read more »

Mountains are so much prettier than bloody noses

(Which is why I put this picture on this post instead of a picture of Max's blood) It's really no secret by now that Max... Read more »

In Other News...

Chickens used to be jungle birds long before man decided to team up with them in such domestic persuits as cock-fighting, making Coq-Au-Vin, and stealing... Read more »

The Hypochondriac Chronicles

Yesterday evening Max suddenly complained that his stomach hurt, his head hurt, and his throat hurt. We thought this was him expressing how bad... Read more »

My Clock Was Ticking, So I Set the Timer and Got Max

I did not have a child so that I could see myself and Philip reflected back at us every day. I did not have... Read more »

What I Have Learned About Dogs From Chick

This is Chick, the first dog I've ever had.This is Chick as a puppy, she looked more like a pit then, less like a lab.... Read more »

Loose Screw Extracted With Exacto Blade!

The threaded piece of wire that worked it's way out of Philip's humorous bone has been slowly working it's way up through his bicep... Read more »

The Kid Whisperer

Lately we've become addicted to watching "The Dog Whisperer" which is a brilliant show featuring Cesar Millan who teaches people how to be pack... Read more »


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