Mountains are so much prettier than bloody noses
(Which is why I put this picture on this post instead of a picture of Max's blood)
It's really no secret by now that Max is prone to bloody noses. Since he was about eighteen months and got an unexplained fever of 104.5 which woke him up in the middle of the night and made his nose bleed (which made Philip pass out), he has been getting bloody noses randomly, and often. Sometimes he gets three in one day. Sometimes he'll go a few months without any and then get one every day for five days in a row. It really wasn't worriesome until this past year. They used to be easier to stop. Max would deal with them with surprising sangfroid while people who weren't used to seeing bloody noses would show the whites of their eyes in fear at the spectacle. This year they have been an almost constant sudden calamity, interrupting play, meals, visits with friends, and his classroom activities.
If they were just little interruptions I wouldn't mind so much. Maybe he wouldn't either. But these take up to a half an hour to stop. He no longer deals with them in a stoic manner. Now they often crop up when he's in the middle of a screaming tantrum. He really doesn't have tantrums very often anymore, but they are infinitely worse when punctuated with blood gushing like a small river from his face, splattering the floors and his clothes, leaving trails behind him that the dog is very distgustingly interested in. The more he tenses up for a good scream and cry, the worse the river, the worse the river the worse his tears are because he gets freaked out, the worse the tears the more murderous-looking the aftermath.
The way to deal with this situation, as a parent, is (obviously) to be calm and quickly induce calm in the kid. This is not easy to do in this particular situation because you have to deal with the reason he's crying in the first place, and then do what you can to diffuse this while plugging up his nose and assuring him that he won't die just because his stomach is filling with blood and making him gag. I have found that if I just pretend that it's not disturbing at all, just totally mundane, then I can get Max to calm down more quickly which in turn slows the nose faucet into a managable mess. When his body relaxes, the bleeding stops about five hundred times more quickly. But I have to admit that I am not always the paragon of zen-calm when my kid is leaving puddles of himself all over the floor. Do you blame me? It's instinctual to be alarmed when this happens. He's my baby. I am pretty unimpressed with blood generally, having had my share of bloody noses in my life (yes, I am also prone to them, as was my mother). But his are really impressing me lately. And I have been known to shout at him to stop freaking out because I'm freaking out. There have been witnesses, and I'm not proud.
He had one last night. This is after having had one at school for three days in a row. While it is certainly true that a tendency to bloody noses runs in my family, which indicates that perhaps we build people with blood vessels very close to the surface of our nasal cavities, his have been much worse than mine for a much longer period of time. We know he gets them more frequently when it's hot (as I do). During the heat wave this summer he was so tired of them that he was begging me to take him to the doctor to fix his nose. Which, because I'm reluctant to go to the doctor for anything mysterious, I didn't take him. There has to be more to it. It's important that everyone know that he doesn't do cocaine or meth. Could it be allergies? Could it be all the beatings? (Just kidding) We know it isn't from picking his nose, which would be a fair suggestion. We know it isn't that because we have witnessed way too many sudden gushes independent of any nose pickings. The kid has a problem.
It feels threatening now. I get shaken up. He's not a hemopheliac because we can stop them (and also he's not part of the inbred royalty that often results in hemophelia). But it's taking longer and he's losing a lot more blood with these. I guess it's time to go to the doctor and hear him tell us it could be a number of things and there's no way to know. He'll probably also tell us there's nothing anyone can do to help him. I guess as long as he doesn't suggest we talk to Jesus about it, we'll be fine. Maybe, just maybe, he'll actually know something. Maybe it will turn out to be related to the mysterious sore throats he was getting frequently this summer. Maybe they can cauterize his nose. Maybe this is totally treatable. I know I owe it to my boy to do my best to find answers and solutions because they scare him now too. And he doesn't scare easily.
If they were just little interruptions I wouldn't mind so much. Maybe he wouldn't either. But these take up to a half an hour to stop. He no longer deals with them in a stoic manner. Now they often crop up when he's in the middle of a screaming tantrum. He really doesn't have tantrums very often anymore, but they are infinitely worse when punctuated with blood gushing like a small river from his face, splattering the floors and his clothes, leaving trails behind him that the dog is very distgustingly interested in. The more he tenses up for a good scream and cry, the worse the river, the worse the river the worse his tears are because he gets freaked out, the worse the tears the more murderous-looking the aftermath.
The way to deal with this situation, as a parent, is (obviously) to be calm and quickly induce calm in the kid. This is not easy to do in this particular situation because you have to deal with the reason he's crying in the first place, and then do what you can to diffuse this while plugging up his nose and assuring him that he won't die just because his stomach is filling with blood and making him gag. I have found that if I just pretend that it's not disturbing at all, just totally mundane, then I can get Max to calm down more quickly which in turn slows the nose faucet into a managable mess. When his body relaxes, the bleeding stops about five hundred times more quickly. But I have to admit that I am not always the paragon of zen-calm when my kid is leaving puddles of himself all over the floor. Do you blame me? It's instinctual to be alarmed when this happens. He's my baby. I am pretty unimpressed with blood generally, having had my share of bloody noses in my life (yes, I am also prone to them, as was my mother). But his are really impressing me lately. And I have been known to shout at him to stop freaking out because I'm freaking out. There have been witnesses, and I'm not proud.
He had one last night. This is after having had one at school for three days in a row. While it is certainly true that a tendency to bloody noses runs in my family, which indicates that perhaps we build people with blood vessels very close to the surface of our nasal cavities, his have been much worse than mine for a much longer period of time. We know he gets them more frequently when it's hot (as I do). During the heat wave this summer he was so tired of them that he was begging me to take him to the doctor to fix his nose. Which, because I'm reluctant to go to the doctor for anything mysterious, I didn't take him. There has to be more to it. It's important that everyone know that he doesn't do cocaine or meth. Could it be allergies? Could it be all the beatings? (Just kidding) We know it isn't from picking his nose, which would be a fair suggestion. We know it isn't that because we have witnessed way too many sudden gushes independent of any nose pickings. The kid has a problem.
It feels threatening now. I get shaken up. He's not a hemopheliac because we can stop them (and also he's not part of the inbred royalty that often results in hemophelia). But it's taking longer and he's losing a lot more blood with these. I guess it's time to go to the doctor and hear him tell us it could be a number of things and there's no way to know. He'll probably also tell us there's nothing anyone can do to help him. I guess as long as he doesn't suggest we talk to Jesus about it, we'll be fine. Maybe, just maybe, he'll actually know something. Maybe it will turn out to be related to the mysterious sore throats he was getting frequently this summer. Maybe they can cauterize his nose. Maybe this is totally treatable. I know I owe it to my boy to do my best to find answers and solutions because they scare him now too. And he doesn't scare easily.