Silver Nitrate Is A Bitch

Why does this bairn look so dispirited? How can a kid be so low on a Friday? And anyway, when you're six years old, isn't life just a gas? Isn't life nonstop freedom from responsibilities? (Of course, to appreciate freedom from responsibilities one must actually experience them first, right?). While it's possible he's just expressing his chagrin at his mother snapping a picture of him in the hospital elevator...

...I think it's probably because he just had an "engorged" nose vein DUG OUT OF HIS NOSE WITH SILVER NITRATE AND BURNED TO SMITHEREENS WHILE HE SCREAMED WITH PAIN IN THE CHAIR.

I have to admit that I almost couldn't take it. I had the strongest urge to shove the nitrate up the doctor's nose so he could see for himself that the pain is not "like a little pinch" as he promised Max but more like a searing gut wrenching pain not unlike pouring boiling water on your bare skin. When we left the office Max asked "Has that doctor ever had that done to his own nose?". Astute question little dude. I seriously doubt it.

The last time he got his nose cauterized it really wasn't too painful but that's because it was a fairly superficial cauterization that works on most cases. They save the torture for the really stubborn big engorged veins; for the real tough cases. To be fair to the doctor, he really was doing what he knows to be the most effective way to stop the bloody noses and I, for one, will be relieved to live a life without being frequently covered with my son's blood. I hate to hear my son begging to be put out so he can't feel such pain, but the nose bleeds are also incredibly distressing to him when they happen, which is all the time. So if this little experiment in torture proves effective, then I will be grateful for it.

We're a little shaken up over here though. He's recovering his color (what little he usually has) while playing on the play station. I can tell there are going to be rough patches today though. He's pretty emotionally fragile at the moment.

When we got home he wanted me to read him a story. Guess what he brought home from school? I'll just tell you because I think you'll never guess: a book about Navy SEALS. Nice. So like a good open minded* mama I read to him all about Navy SEALS which ends with propaganda rules on volunteering. Because what six year old boy is not going to think it's totally cool to join a stealth team of assassins soldiers who get to play with explosives for the "good guys"?! Do I need to mention how heinous I find it that there are books about Navy SEALS available to little children?

There was mention of how women aren't allowed to join the SEALS and Max wanted further explanation as to why that is. I offered the simplest explanation I could which is that traditionally women are the only ones who can have babies and they need to stay out of wars so they can care for them. So he says "So the women stay home to have babies and protect them so they can grow up and become SEALS?"

Yes honey, it's what every mama dreams of.


*Well, I think it's open minded not to care if my kid becomes a cabaret singer, a cab driver, a liquor store owner, a gas station attendant, or a football player. But I admit I struggle very hard not to scream in horror every time he expresses interest in the armed forces.