The Family That Fights Together, Stays Together

It only took us three years to convince Max to try taking a martial arts class.  Three years of people constantly telling us we should get him into martial arts, with us wanting to strangle them every time because- WE KNOW!!  Max is a guy who can really hold his line.  His adamant refusal to take any form of martial arts made us really tired.  He's persistent, we're persistent, this kind of thing could go on for a lifetime.  I'm still not clear on how things suddenly shifted but this past week we suggested, AGAIN, that he should take Kung Fu or Tai Kwon Doe and out of the blue he suddenly agrees to it.  But only if it's not stupid.  And if it's stupid or boring he will under no circumstances allow us to drag him back.

Believe me when I assure you that he's not kidding. 

You don't wait around when the kid finally gives in on something after holding to a non-negotiable no for three years.  So Philip interviewed a local instructor that he'd heard good things about and filled out the paperwork and signed Max up for a free two week trial period.  This is out of character for Philip.  Philip is much more likely to spend the next three years saying "We should really sign Max up for Kung Fu now that he says he'll go."  It's usually me who has to get on top of these things and take action.  I'm not really sure what's going on with my guys right now...but it's refreshing change!

So tonight Max had his first class.  I brought a book to read, which I never touched.  Because it was very cool watching the class and I have to admit that the whole time I watched I was wishing I wasn't such a porker because I want to kick like that!!!  The verdict is that Max LOVED it.  He really loves it and said it was so much fun.

Do you know how rarely I hear my kid say that something was "so much fun!"?  It's an occasion worthy of celebration.  Naturally he wants us both to take it too. 

We're going to do it.  One thing I realized really quickly is that a discipline like that that you're supposed to practice at home in order to advance will be very difficult for Max unless I make sure he's doing it.  To get him to do things at home I generally need to be doing them with him.  If I say "You need to practice your martial arts moves now." he would complain because it's boring and he doesn't want to do it alone.  If I say "Let's practice our moves together" I can motivate him more.  Max and I don't have a ton of activities we like to do together.  So it seems clear to me that if I want him to stay with it I'm going to have to do it too.  You know what?  I'm really excited.

I'm also a little horrified at the thought of kicking my massive body around a little studio with a bunch of lithe thin fit people.  I think it's a measure of my love for my son that I am willing to swallow my pride and be the fat fool on the floor so that we can develop personal discipline and fighting skills together.

Philip is excited to do it too.

We're going to be a Kung Fu family. 

I've also been getting Max to play chess with me (we're trying for once a day, though we missed today).  As you all know, I hate games.  However, chess is quiet and it doesn't seem to make Max get wired up and obnoxious.  It's been a lot of fun and I'm improving quite a lot.

I made some phone calls to try and locate our local coroner's office because I need to do some fact checking for my book and I thought a trip to the county morgue would make a great field trip for me and Max if we could get a tour.  It turns out that we don't have an official medical examiner's office or coroner here in this county.  Aren't I just the best mom ever?!  I'm also going to see if I can get a tour and an interview with the fire station for me and Max (also for fact finding for my book)  Who says I don't know how to have fun with kids?!

Max would like to know if he would be allowed to see the inside of a body getting autopsied.  I love my kid!

This Thursday I am going to ask the psyche doctor about getting Max going with meds.  I can feel in my bones that it's time. 

I have an appointment with a psychiatrist for myself just before my trip to California.  Taking new meds is most likely going to entail drinking very little alcohol which is good, but if the meds don't work well for me it could be a really torturous time.  Not drinking as much beer will allow us to afford to take Kung Fu as a family.  If Max and I are medicated, exercised, and doing positive things as a family, it just might get a little less heavy for us all around here.  Figuratively and literally.  Philip really should be getting therapy or trying meds too but he won't.  Plus we can't afford to help all of us all the time.  The martial arts might help Philip in surprising ways.

The next time I write I'll probably be half dead from muscle pain but I expect to enjoy my pain.



Note: I would like to dive into a small discussion about how odd it is to be a peace loving person yet also be a warrior in spirit.  When I used to take fencing I really loved that I was going through the motions and learning actions meant to kill people, yet there was a discipline to it, rules, honor, and being face to face with your opponent felt personal and kind of beautiful.  I remember being very surprised by enjoying the ferocity of trying to impale another human being and how much it felt right to do it...yet I believe that war is never excusable.  So perhaps I'll be able to write more on that another time.  Any thoughts you have on that curious topic I will enjoy.