Walmart

like syphilis, only worse

I think eye candy is great. I love it. Especially when it's red and can be plastered all over my kitchen and craft room. Does anyone NOT like rick rack? I'm putting eye candy here because I'm going to talk about Walmart in just a moment and I think we all deserve to have pretty imprints on our retinas before we go there.

Do you see what's new? Philip bought the last Elephant Heart plum tree at the nursery. I wanted to establish one here in my yard this year. It's getting a little late but what the hell?! I was going to go for an antique apple variety but in the end I really covet, and I do mean that with all capital letters, COVET, this plum. I'm so excited!

See how I avoid topics I really want to? Yet, and here it is, I went to Walmart today with my kid. Now, I work in a toy store and it's an excellent one, but I knew we didn't have any Lego sets he wanted right now and he had some allowance money (which he earned by washing the car and the scooter) burning a hole in his head and so we headed off to the only other place in town that sells Legos, Max's keen passion. We rode our bikes (does that dull the stench we wear for stepping foot in one of the worst stores that have ever happened to our country?) and as we entered through the one entry door* Max experienced some confusion.

"Where are we mama?" he stopped and asked.

"We're in Walmart, the place with the Legos." I answered.

"This is the place? You mean there are actually Legos in here?! It doesn't look like a place that has Legos." almost shouting.

It is like a mecca for everything I don't stand for. What really freaks me out is that I now look like I belong there. I mean, truly. Seriously. I should never go there in unflattering clothes. With my gut hanging out so far that I couldn't spy my shoes I looked exactly like Walmart's demographic gold standard customer. Except that my kid, as though just landed on the moon, said very loudly "So this is the place where people are for Bush?!"

I had told him earlier why we do our best not to support Walmart. I told him how Walmart funds Republican campaigns and supports things we don't believe in. I told him that Walmart is like fast food: it is complete evil incarnate if you go there all the time and fork over your money to support what they stand for, but if you only go once in a while it won't actually kill you or the rest of the world.

However, I have my doubts about that.

We certainly seemed like the only reasonably happy people there. You'd think all that money you saved buying crap you didn't need that will break two days from now would give you some kind of shopping glow.

Max was so excited by the unbelievable selection of Legos that he was dramatically expressing his joy by writhing on the floor saying "NO WAY!!!! I HAVE TO HAVE THAT ONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!! SAH-WEET!" He certainly didn't blend in. His eyes weren't glazed over. He was having paroxysms of joy, for sure, and almost looked epileptic, but he kept me well entertained.

He didn't have a great selection in his price range but it was a great time. Until we left the Lego isle and once again made our way down isle after isle of stuff and more stuff. I figured that maybe since we were already there I would get more water filters, which I need, but I couldn't find anything I needed. Just crying babies. Lots of people wearing unnatural colored contact lenses. People. Lots of big people. (Like me, I hate to say.) Unhappy worn faces. Grey skin. Cheap cheap cheap cheap life. Moms who couldn't be older than fourteen. Harrassed looking parents. Old saggy people who don't seem to have anything left in their eyes. How does this happen?

That reminds me.

You know how sometimes you see a man and know that the only explanation for him is that he's a serial killer? I saw the weirdest most disconnected older, thin, face lifted, pale skinned, scary-groomed man the other day in my discount grocery store. He whisked past me down an isle leaving me just a little slack jawed and scared. His hair was colored to cover grey and what was left of it was swept back from his face. That man had a dark soul and not because he wore all black. So I get in line right behind him. I would have gone to another one but I was in a hurry (something I try not to be) and it was the shortest one.

I think everyone else knew he had no conscience either. He was very particular about keeping a keen space between his two items and my many. Like I was dirty. Like anything other people touch is dirty. I was transfixed by him but also terrified to make eye contact. Fortunately for me, the man was absolutely making a great effort to avoid human contact of any kind.

I'm almost certain this man lives with his mother and I won't say what else I'm sure he's up to because it will just freak someone out.

All in all it's been a lovely day. My boy (so far) isn't hating his school, his classmates, or his teacher. We went on an adventure today. He did some chores. We rode our bikes. We built Legos together. He ate watermelon and tater tots. (Never on the same plate.) I got a bunch of Etsy chores done (new things listed, taking care of business) and now I am going to go and rest my back. My second non-fatal** wasp sting has finally stopped swelling, though it still itches. If life keeps feeling this good I just might have to ditch my plan to develop some new curse words.


Here is some additional information on Wal-Mart's practices:
http://www.clrlabor.org/campaigns/wal-mart/resources.htm
supplied by my good friend Riana at These Days In French Life.





*I think it's ominous that there is only one double entry door but two or three exit doors...what does it mean? I know it means something.

**I am now terrified of getting a third sting because the second one was way worse than the one I got a week ago. It swelled up in about a 5" radius around the sting site and the skin felt stiff and weird. It itches and hurts. If the second wasp sting of my life was ten times worse than the first, what will the third one be like? And why do I taste so good to them suddenly? By the way, I wanted to try Jocelyn's suggestion for dealing with wasp stings but I have made a gross garden error- I have not planted mint!!!!! What is wrong with me?