Emphatic: Fat Ambphibian

One thing I love about Facebook is how easy it is to type out the most random inconsequential thoughts.  I used to try and save them for my blog, the things that randomly flitted through my brain all day.  Sometimes I would even stop, mid bicycle ride, to write a random weird funny tidbit my brain cranked out so I wouldn't forget it before I got home.  Being able to parcel out these thoughts as the day goes on might be irritating to all the people who share Facebook with me but I can't help thinking that I don't want you to be left out.  Because that has become my way of recording them all.  So tonight I have sifted through a few pages from the last few days and I have printed them out below for your enjoyment.  I will go through all the older pages (hundreds of them by now!) and share others too.  If you don't like them that's alright with me, because I like to read them. 

It amuses me.  Hopefully you will find some amusement here too:


I grew up around a whole lot of uninvited nudity and I always wished all the hippies around me would just stay clothed. All the time. Cause I don't need to see dicks-a-swinging and boob-a-bobbling. I think my hippie upbringing was so uncomfortable in some aspects that I became perversely puritanical in the nudity department.

Some people who blog have maids. I don't have a maid. I suspect my life will never include one. I guess I can live with that. But I'll need more coffee first.

I'm offended on Jesus' behalf that some of his fans call him "The J-Man". I'm not even convinced the dude ever existed and I am more respectful of him than that.

The lies are rampant, truly hideous as well as being fatuous, and apparently (for good measure) many of them sound like they were made up by a five year old.

I'm so happy I pulled the muscles on both sides of my stomach because I really do prefer my pain to be in balance.

Tell me I can do this. Tell me that I can do this better than breathing. Because anything else is unacceptable.

"You're 39 years old and you don't know how to spell Uzi?!" says my 8 year old. Ah, the shame. The clay feet.

I let them slip from my throat unsaid; unrealized like flakes from the great crust of earth, like the great inevitable silent movement of the world where there's no place for angels and devils but only the air and the atmosphere above it w...here the stars hang like wishes in a sea of diamonds cut by a wizard's eye.

This will stay between you and me. Like the exchange of winds both north and south. You are waiting on the uppermost glacier, and I am inhaling the ice on which you stand. I can say this when the world sleeps. The world sleeps.

Just saw a heart breakingly horrible picture of a pitbull ravaged in a fight and I'm trying so hard not to cry and not to wish that every dog fighter in the country be treated to the same violence to their own skin that they enjoy seeing inflict...ed on other beings. Sick. People who enjoy dogfighting are sociopaths. Really sick people.

Yes, yes I do object to force feeding birds to make fois gras. Yes, humans have to eat and yes- many of them feel they will shrivel up and die without meat, but there is no reason to treat the animals we eat in such horrible ways. Just raise the da...mn ducks naturally and then slaughter them humanely. It's really very simple.

Max thought "emphatic" meant a fat amphibian.

I said to Max "Go find a bag to put your things in." and he says "No you, mom, you're the Bag Keeper." I'm the Bag Keeper?! Sounds kind of sad and pathetic. Like I'm a grocery store attendant in hell.

I hate it when my body bitch-slaps me to the ground.

The line: "One Man Drama" strikes fear in my heart. I run the other way.

Parenting has scarred me for life.

Fashion Flash: saw a short mohawk that made me think of a lady-bits landing strip. I'm thinking that wasn't the effect the gent was going for.