The Giant Pumpkin Festival

Get ready because this post has about a billion photographs. If you find farms boring then a.) save this for when you have insomnia you crazy person and b.) what kind of person doesn't like farms? And c.) obviously you are way too cool for yourself and need to go smoke a cuban.

This is one of Philip's favorite pictures from this group so I had to include it. Lovely sunflowers sizzling up the grey October sky. The bees haven't gone into hiding yet, they were stocking up like mad little workers with legs weighted down with pollen. Sadly, the camera doesn't care about such paltry details and refused to photograph them.

This is what happens when you cavalierly toss a thousand pound pumpkin onto your car, in case you were wondering. We missed the actual event, but you can see from the picture that these kids were super impressed and would have LOVED seeing this car get smashed by a freakishly large squash. This is one of the cool things they do on the opening day of the Giant Pumpkin Festival.

There was so much to do at this farm event that the kids did not get bored once. One of the most inventive games was the hay-bale maze in an enclosed building in complete darkness. Everyone gets a flashlight to find their way through it. The boys probably would have gone through five times if we had had an endless supply of tickets and patience. I have to admit that I really enjoyed it. You feel closed in by the hay, it's earthy, spooky, with hay-bales stacked from the floor to the cieling. Lisa decided that once through was enough for her. Though I have had some clausterphobic moments in my life, I didn't really mind this maze.

This is basically a manger filled with fluffy hay. It's bouncy. Ever wonder what a "roll in the hay" might really be like and why on earth anyone would want to? I get it now. I could sleep in there, but to roll in it as implied? Um, I would think it might get a little prickly, and manage to insinuate itself places. The boys absolutely let loose here and it was so much fun to watch them climb the hay-bale wall and then jump down into the soft floor.

Here are the cute little monkeys perched in the lair. Getting ready to jump. Right after lording it over some other kids first. This cost us no tickets and helped to drain some of their excess energy (of which they always have plenty). This farm really helped to make it a great trip by providing some free safe fun for the kids. Whoever planned this whole event has kids.

Now this is clever. I can't think of a better use for a million-zillion hazel nuts than to invite children to stomp them to smithereens. This is the farm version of those really grimy ball-filled jump houses that kids love so much. I dislike hazel nuts, which is a serious shame since this county is liberally forested in them. But here, at last, is a use for them I can get on board with. I'm worried about that kid with no shoes on though because some of the shells have broken open and are not unlike rusty dull razor blades. Max and Rex really enjoyed rolling around in here.

Just when you didn't think it could get any more fun...a huge slide with fluffy hay at the bottom to land in. If any other farms out there want to make their pumpkin patch top notch, they need to study Fir Point Farm's pumpkin festival. As Lisa said, this was like the Disney Land of farms. I want people to want to visit farms, and with rides and games as fun and clever (yet not hoaxy and stupid) as these, why would you choose to visit some stupid creepy mouse instead?

This one seriously surprised me. This is an antique sample hay bale machine being operated by a very nice lady who let me take her picture. The boys were fascinated. So much so that they waited with bated breath for the bales to come off the machine (super slowly) so they could stack them on the nearby cart. What? Our boys suddenly doing farm work with relish? Is there a farm boy burried inside my little urban urchin after all? It should be noted that Rex has already made his desire for a family farm quite clear to Lisa and Mark. So it's less surprising that he would get in the hay baling spirit.

This is brilliant! What boy doesn't want to huck tiny pumpkins as far as possible for the fun of it? This is a pumpkin sling-shot. All farms should have this. Seriously, no normal child can resist the destructive charm of hucking vegetables into a field. This only thing that could improve it from a boy's perspective is if the pumpkins actually smashed as they hit the ground.

This is Myrtle. What is a trip to a farm without a visit to the resident pigs? I have to tell you that Myrtle works very hard to maintain that rotund figure of hers. She's huge. I mean, this gal could eat your kids in one bite. I wish I could have heard her snort. And just when you thought a pig couldn't be more pig-like...

she goes and gets personal! Check out those teeth! Who knew that eating corn and not brushing your teeth could result in such a snaggle-toothed mouth? I'll have to remember that.

I know not everyone is going to be in agreement on this one, but I honestly think a pig snout like this is cute. I said it. It's true. I'm not the only one. Lisa is the one who caught Myrtle at her casual most charming best. I'm not saying that I'm going to exchange Carole Lombard for Myrtle as my style role model, but she's cute!!

This is the prize winning pumpkin. Candy had just been dropped in the mud. Bickering with Rex had just heated up. Max was tired and edgy. You had to see the biggest pumpkin though. But the day was winding down.

You all know by now how much I like to look at vegetables in general and squash in particular.

U-pick dahlias...when to stop? Where to draw the line? They were only twenty five cents a stem for all that sunshine! It doesn't matter if it's raining and my shoes are wet, I find it hard to stop picking. And what's so great about self restraint anyway? This is me with my stupid hair holding my gorgeous picks.

Here is Lisa with hers. She said she felt like a kid in a candy store. No kidding! Alicia: I don't know if the dahlias will be in bloom for your visit, but Lisa told me how much you love dahlias so I think the next time you're here when they're in bloom you and Lisa need to leave her kids with me for a few hours so you two can go to Fir Point Farm and also Swan Island Dahlias (in the same town) and have a day completely filled with dahlias!



This trip to Fir Point Farm was a total success, unlike our journey to the middle of the earth otherwise known as the Hood River valley "Fruit Loop". It only took a half an hour to get to from Lisa's house and the farm was thoughtfully planned to keep kids entertained. If anyone local is reading this blog, I highly recommend that you take you kid(s) to visit. Here are a few extra highlights from this trip:

• The food was decent here. There was apple pie that I really enjoyed (so rare!) and the people that catered hot food made a decent sandwich. It's a shame they were calling the sandwich a panini since it wasn't anything remotely like panini*, but the ingredients were fresh and the quality was so much better than you find at most fairs.

• There was a clown named BJ that the kids really loved. I'm going to be honest here, so if BJ ever reads this: please don't be offended, the thing is, I really hate clowns. They make me feel so uncomfortable I kind of want to just remove all my insides so I'll feel better. I think BJ would have been just as popular if he had refrained from the requisite clown make-up (and by the way, WHAT'S UP WITH CLOWN MAKE UP AND WHO EVER THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY IN THE FIRST PLACE?) and the clown outfit that is somehow supposed to be amusing instead of being unbearably sad and unattractive. The main point is that BJ made those kids laugh a lot and so I'd have to say that he is a total success as a clown and it's not all about me in this world anyway, which is always good to remember.

• They had goats in the fir trees. Yep, true fact. Everyone knows that goats are excellent and intrepid climbers...Fir Point Farm built their goats ramps that go up into the trees where there were platforms they could stand on. Like little tiny goat tree-houses. But that's not all, there were pulleys with cups attatched so you could put goat snacks in the cup and send it up to the goat in a tree. I know I'm a farm geek, but c'mon, you can't tell me that's not cool?!

• The corn maze was pretty extensive and the boys absolutely loved it. Lots of wrong turns, dead ends, and immature corn they felt compelled to pick as we trundled along the muddy paths. The corn cobs quickly became lethal weapons of mass destruction. I don't know why kids like following paths in corn fields like tiny little rodents, but I suppose the thrill is in the possibility of getting lost and the whole feeling of being in a life-size puzzle. I don't like mazes for myself, but it's hard not to enjoy something your child is enjoying so thoroughly.

• There was a creepy cabin. I'm going to tell you the truth here: this little activity is pretty lame. I mean, it was mostly just like walking through a pitch black house. I could do that in my own house at night. With so many well thought out activities, I think this one needs to be brought up in the world a notch or two. But then again, the boys loved it and it's for the kids, so maybe it's time I just shut the heck up.

• It rained on us. Instead of letting that get in the way of our fun we just put on our jackets and kept having fun. If we were to run from the rain this early in the season absolutely everyone around us would have suspected us of being from California. The thing to do here is just act as though it's not happening. It totally worked! It comes, you get a little or a lot wet, it stops.

* grill marks on a cold sandwich not slathered in butter or olive oil is not a panini. The panini grill is meant to both make the ouside of the sandwich crusty-golden and to squish all the ingredients together. A panini is a HOT sandwich with melted cheese.