Gifts of the season

OK, so he doesn't look ecstatic, but the pillow was a success. I actually had two wonderful pictures of them in the store, but I deleted them from my camera in an over-enthusiastic deleting frenzy. The birds are carrying banners that read: "Love" "Humor" and "Courage" my own version of the holy trinity. It's what you need to get through life in good shape. They are the three things I most hope my boy will be armed with when he leaves my home at the crisp age of eighteen.

There's the smile. Not wildly joyful, but it'll do. We hung out all day yesterday. I got a lot of chores done, but I also spent some good quality time with him building his newest Lego acquisition: a "Dino Attack" ensemble. We also played "Uncle Wiggly" (a very strange board game that I grew up with, for those of you who don't know) and Dinosaur Bingo. Then, before bed, I read him a new book he got from our very dear (very sweet) family friend Judy. Today I go back to work to do new windows. I will remain at work until I am done. Then I plan to spend about a week at home organizing before going back to work to work on the new apron pattern and other projects.

Mark and Lisa took pity on us poor lonesome Williamsons and invited us to their Christmas dinner. Even though they are miles of I-5 from most of their family, just as we are, Lisa's mom, her Grandmother, and Mark's sister all travelled up to spend Christmas with them. In spite of a full house, they made room for us.

Lisa prepared a wonderful dinner with fancy meat (Pork roast stuffed with garlic and apricots) (which I obviously didn't eat, but in spite of not feeling the least bit ravenous at the sight of roast pig-it must be noted that it was a lovely hunk of meat and if I was not a lifelong vegetarian, I would have been all over it.) She also made a scallop potato with leeks casserole, that wonderful squash dish that Alicia and Lori made when they were here, and a salad with pecans, dried cranberries, and feta. For dessert we made two galettes using our canned pears and a home made crust.

It turned out beautifully. Elegant in all it's rustic glory. Tasty. Best of all? EASY PEASY. It's wonderful when you can put together a great dessert from what you already have in your pantry. Although it occurs to me that it's dangerous to come up with any more ways of using the canned pears when I am going through those jars like a pear junkie.

I have got to say that this has been a lovely Christmas. The kid has had a few tantrumy moments (at Rex's unfortunately), but all in all he's been super good and enjoyed all of the presents he got. He's really on the mend and there's only one problem with that: it means he's bursting with energy. I think Philip will have to take him skateboarding today.

I did miss seeing my family. It's something I look forward to every year. No matter how rough things sometimes are between us all they are all of them the most wonderfully unique people and I wouldn't trade the family I got for anyone else's.

Now here's a list of a few things I need to get off my chest:

• I may have just killed my dog. True fact. I left two hunks of chocolate out on the side table and she ate them up. We caught her reverently licking the already licked clean package. Two great big hunks of chocolate. So I called the vet to get the scoop. All we have to do is watch for signs of drunkenness, excessive water drinking, vomiting, or diarrhea, and then call the vet. It's a crap shoot. Apparently some dogs can die from chocolate consumption, and some...not so much. The vet receptionist knows Chick and says she's not too worried because she's a pretty big dog. That's relative of course, compared to a tea-cup Chihuahua she's like Dogzilla, but compared to some of the English Mastiffs that populate this town, she's fairly diminutive. I really love my dog so I hope I haven't killed her.

• Speaking of dogs...we have always let Chick sleep on the bed with us. It was a novice mistake. She was so small when we first let her do it. Super small, like a big warm densely muscled toothy cat. So cute, so sweet...but she got bigger. As mentioned above, she's neither really huge nor really small. But she weighs forty nine pounds. It has become really uncomfortable sleeping with her on the bed. So much so that we're experiencing back problems from having to contort ourselves into strange unnatural configurations to accommodate this black furry child of the earth. So we bought a doggy bed, put it on the floor and prepared ourselves for no sleep. Because it takes days to train dogs to do anything. Just like kids. I am pleased to report that we only had to shove her off the bed three or four times before she settled down into the new dog bed. I think it was the steely determination in my voice that got results.

• This may be shocking, so you may wish to sit down. Every holiday season the subject of gift giving inevitably comes up. Every year it's the same, all the good people say they would rather give gifts than receive them. (These people are obviously angling for halos.) I will say that I do enjoy giving gifts, I enjoy generosity of spirit just like the next guy, but you wanna know something? I really like getting gifts too. That's right. I said the unsayable. I will never get myself a halo, but the truth of it is, I love unwrapping gifts and having that feeling of receiving tokens of friendship and love from the people I most care about. (There are actually a lot of circumstances in which I am made uncomfortable by gifts, but I am not talking about those right now.) When it comes to Christmas and my birthday, I would be really sad if I couldn't look forward to having a few new shiny things to play with or wear. There it is. I am a materialistic monster of capitalism. (Excuse me while I go check if my dog is acting drunk.)

• Lindsy Lohan is a talentless ho. That's right, I think it's ridiculous that her biggest goal in life is to be a sex symbol like Marilyn Monroe. The only thing more ridiculous than that is that Paris Hilton already thinks she IS the Marilyn Monroe of her generation. Jesus Christ on a bed of hot coals...what girls want to emulate a woman who's gone down in history as a mistress to a president, a hot bod, and a drug overdose that killed her?

• I am also so tired of all this boyfriend sharing and stealing that goes on in the talentless-ho celebrity circle. They may as well all have a giant orgy and get it over with. I can't help but wonder if they all have some terrible venereal diseases? Why haven't any of these people discovered gardening? Lindsy says she's a great cook, but how can she be a great cook when she does nothing but party at various Hotels? I find that a hard assertion to swallow. The creepiest thing of all? They are all going to start breeding because the coolest ambition to have right now is to produce "millions" of babies. As though that will make them into little paragons of goodness. It boils down to this: sex and drugs are the hobbies of choice amongst this set of youngsters. While sex and drugs have so much to offer, I really think that gardening, crafting, and even flower arranging have so much more to offer.

• One more thing: what is it with celebrities all having to conquer the entire commercial universe? No one can "just" be an actor anymore. No one can "just" be a rock star anymore. All the celebrities now have to have their own line of clothing, their own signature perfume, if they're actors they must prove they can also sing, if they're singers they must prove they can also act, if they're models they must prove they can act...ad infinitum. The problem is that most of them barely have enough talent to be what they started off as, branching out just spreads that thin talent even thinner. Elle McPhereson is a rotten actress and frankly...she's got a flat butt. Beyonce's goal is to become her own corporation. So she's got her line of clothing now "House of Dereon". Every time I see an ad for it I just want to scream. Could a person be more pretentious? No one, not even REAL designers have "house"es anymore. That went out with the "House of Worth".

Alright. I'm done. I just needed to say all of that before the new year. Clean slate and all that.