It's All Blue Sky In Ayrshire

There are a few things I didn't bring with me: sunscreen, a hat, sandals, or tank tops for the excellent reason that the sun isn't supposed to shine in Scotland. Everyone says it. Everyone complains about it. Just like in Oregon. Since I've never been to Scotland when it wasn't winter I had to go with the common belief that it is always cold and overcast. I've forgotten that people routinely exaggerate about "poor" weather and that what might be cold to one person might actually kill another one with heat exhaustion.

It has been nothing but blue skies and warm weather until just today. I don't completely mind except for the constant discomfort I've been feeling from the warmth* and being in cars where people don't want the windows down.

This grassy verge is a lovely spot on the Culzean Castle grounds that looks out over the sea and is, in fact, a great spot to sit and kill other people with cannon fire. I know this because it was hilled up and lined with cannons a few hundred years ago and the cannons are still there. But forget about war for just a minute. Forget about history and people and be alone in your mind, just for a few minutes. The sky is clear blue for miles, the air up here is whipping your hair up and cooling your head, and the grass is speckled with the sweetest English daisies. If you sit here and forget all the fussing and clamoring of your family, your friends, your many many loved ones, I think all your troubles will slip away here.

You look out over the sea and in the distance you can see the shadow of the mainland. But who cares about the mainland when you are in the sweetest spot on the Isle of Aaron? Time can go to hell because there is almost music here. The daisies smile up at you like children who have yet to discover that life is not going to provide them with endless summer ice-cream cones. You can imagine that it's always early summer here. Before it gets unbearably hot. When there's still a freshening breeze. While we are still all thinking that the months are going to last forever.

I have had very little time to myself on this trip. I knew that would be the case since it's really not a trip that's about me. I accompanied a very large group of family and friends to Culzean Castle. I walked with them through the actual castle but as soon as I broke free of the antiquities within I went off by myself. I walked through an orangery filled with the intoxicating perfume of citrus blossoms. I walked fast across vast lawns and slowly along stone walls covered in tiny ferns and other unidentified pretty creepers. I ate a mediocre lunch at the cafe by myself and bought two Bronte books in the used bookstore on the grounds.

Eventually I made it to the one thing I was most keen on seeing. I realize now that I ought to have gone there first. The walled garden. It's beautiful. I wanted to lie down in the shade on the grass and count apple blossoms. I wanted to crawl through the borders to inspect the roses not yet in bloom and sniff at the peonies that were. I didn't get to spend as much time there as I would have liked. I love walled gardens. I want to build a wall around mine. I have a fence but fences rot and rotting fences don't feel as permanent as stone or brick walls.

I snore. I'm not happy about it. My sister couldn't sleep. Neither could I for worrying about her not being able to sleep. So I got myself a room next door at the Daviot where my brother had a room. This ceiling detail is at the Burnside Guest House. The Daviot had some of these wonderful plasters but not as many. Can I put some in my own house?

This is the staircase next door at the Daviot. Very pretty, isn't it? It became the treacherous stairs I later almost killed myself on. I swear I wasn't drunk. I slipped and I can't say it's done wonders for my back. I have some bruised bits as well.

What do you think of the carpet? I happen to be plaid happy. I put industrial plaid carpeting in our finished attic in the Beaver Street house. It always makes me happy to see it because you have to really have a sense of play to have something so bold. I loath the usual beige pile carpet so popular everywhere. I have to tell you that in the old houses here there is a lot of colorful carpet. The first place I've seen much beige is in the hotel we're in now.

Not super happy with self at the moment, however, I love this self portrait because details are washed out by the damn sunshine that has a special affinity for me and follows me where ever I go like a sad little Chihuahua that can't leave alone the one person in the room that doesn't like Chihuahua. Go away bright rays! Although, if it can erase all my flaws like this, maybe I should find a way to enjoy it more.

Rust is everywhere here because they use stone and metal for fences a lot more than they use wood. You must keep metal painted in a wet climate or it will rust. So much here is touched by age and decay and somehow when you use such sturdy materials it weathers more beautifully.

I don't know what this plant is but it was creeping up the garden walls at Culzean Castle and I love it. It looks similar to heather and yet prettier, plus it creeps up the wall and so doesn't take up valuable space as a clump.

I would like to be a black bird. This guy was hanging close to the cafe at Culzean Castle hoping for crumbs. On the other side of the battlements here is a big cliff and below it the sea.

The wedding was yesterday. We are now in Glasgow in an apartment with two bedrooms a living room, bathroom, and kitchenette. We have left charming decor and entered the city life of business-man from the 80's taste**. everything is black and white (leather couches and dining room chairs) black curtains and white walls. It's pretty nice but is missing all the charm of the bed and breakfasts.

I'm tired. Very tired. I'm tired of talking to people I don't know. I need down time and alone time. I'm wishing I could extend my vacation by a couple more days so I can fully decompress from people. The wedding was lovely but it was long and it exhausted my reserves completely. My brother and sister are tired as well. None of us have had much sleep. None of us have been free to just do as we please. That's what the next two days are about.

I miss my Philip and wish he was here with me to just walk and take it all in. I wish he was here so we could talk about everything and I could enjoy his perspective. It's less work talking with him and being with him than with anyone else I know. I miss my Max too. I wish he had been with me when I found the giant bug on the iron fence opening into the walled garden. I took a picture, but if he had been there we could have entered into a lively discussion about his possible dangerousness. It was HUGE. I wish Max was with me to see the wall covered in weapons at Culzean Castle: an entire room covered in pistols and swords and rifles arranged artfully. It was amazing. I wasn't allowed to take pictures. I love you guys!

Most of you are awake now. My evening is in progress. Soon we'll head out to find food. All of us are planning to turn in on the early side.



*Perhaps it's hot flashes? An early menopause?

**This hotel is located in the business district, right downtown, across the street from the central train station so it caters to the business people.