Technology Is Killing Me

Technology is trying to kill me.  So is the smell of my sweat, but we're not going to discuss that now.  I am on hour 5 zillion of trying to set up the Stich and Boots website and it is killing me.  First I had to learn how to pay for my overdue site hosting bills.  We have Bluewho and are basically our own hosts.  It is unbelievably challenging to do anything in Bluewho and I have come to despise them.  I finally paid my bill (it used to pay automatically until the credit card it was charging got, um... unplugged).  Then I had to start figuring out how to add an account.

That would have been a simple process if I happened to be a programmer and understood all the crap that goes into setting the thing up.  So I had to redo it about ten times before I MIGHT have gotten it right.

Once I did that I had to download Wordpress which is the software I'm using for the blog.  This should be easy, and, ostensibly, it was.  However, from there it became impossible to figure out how to download a theme from wordpress.  I got the zip saved in a file but then the real fun began.

FTP stands for Fat Tedious Process.  Or: Fucking Tedious Pain-In-The-Ass.

I set Philip on the task.  Philip hates it when people do this.  He's not a programmer.  He is an artist.  Everyone (and I do mean EVERYONE) thinks he's a computer whiz.  Most of the time he would rather whiz on the computer.  He's an artist, not a technology genius.  Everyone is always asking him to figure out shit on the computer.  So he very reluctantly took over trying to install FTP on my computer.  I need this for my regular blog anyway.  And he managed to install it for my regular blog.  But after an hour of dicking around he still could not get it installed on the Stitch and Boots control panel. 

So I'm stumped.  I was all enthusiastic that I could figure all this shit out on my own and not depend on my computer crutches to help me (Philip and Angela).  I was thinking that by now I would be working on the banner and dusting off all the sections to start posting.  Now I think I should just shove my head in the screen and find out how toxic the liquid in it really is.

My head is filled with: Dns, FTP, server address, WX, themes, and a thousand password requests.

Meanwhile my stopped up ear is making random independent squealing and popping noises and driving me insane.  The question has come up twice in the last twenty four hours: if you had to choose to be blind or deaf- which would you choose.

I have finally decided which I would choose.  Obviously I would like to never lose either site or sound.  But, if I did: I would choose to lose my hearing.  I don't think I could survive myself if I couldn't see my garden, fruits, food, my child, people's faces, the seasons, the mist rising from the ground, light, and color.

I do love music and I love how sound can drown out my own thoughts which are persistent and loud.  The thoughts in my own head would be all I would have left of noise and it might make me quite a bit crazier than I already am if I lost my hearing, but in the end I think the visual world is more important to me.

I just realized that I left out a huge pot of soup for over twenty four hours.  There is only one way to avoid such colossal waste and that means boiling it for at least ten minutes.  And then making sure to not leave it out again.  Damn.  I hate it when I do that.

Nomatter how much access I have to blog statistics, I can never make real sense of what makes the readership on my blog rise, and what makes it decline.  It never seems to really make any sense.  I look at what I wrote when my stats spiked and I don't get it.  So random.  I don't care a whole lot except that it feels like school when I see that fewer people are coming and I don't know why?  Is it because of the sweat?  Is it because of the lack of eye candy?  Are you tired?  Bored?  Is it because I'm not funny?

Whatever.  I probably shouldn't ever look at those stats anyway because I don't write this blog to be popular.  Nothing is ever going to make me popular in any arena.  It just isn't in the stars.  The writing was on the wall in kindergartena and it's never been different.  I do believe there's a line in my dna string that says "incapable of popularity".  Well, someone has to champion the unpopular, right?

But being unpopular is like being fat: you can tell yourself all the self affirming crap you want to but at the end of the day it still doesn't actually feel that great.

Being popular and/or thin may not be the most important thing in life, but NOT being those things will always carry a little sting to it I think.  Even when you know that it's way cooler to be who you are at any size.  People like me better as the underdog anyway.  I mean, I still don't get invited into any inner circles, but the people inside the warm circles admire me from their safe distance much more when I say "fuck you" to them.  Or ignore them. 

I'm going to take my fat unpopular ass to the shower now and go beg my friend Angela to come help me figure out this technical shit.  I really want to get Stitch and Boots going.  I'm ready for it. 

And let me tell you right now: when it goes live I fully expect all of you to not only subscribe to it but to suggest that everyone else you know subscribes to it too because it isn't going to be just me- it's going to be my friends too who are some of your friends and at some point you might actually write something for it yourself.  Maybe my personal blog here with all the crazy hanging out all day long will limp itself forever into the future like a lame duck, but Stitch and Boots is a different matter.  It's going to be the best homesteading site in the whole online universe.  It's popularity is about all of us. 

The hacking a wheezing portion of the morning should be over, yet here I am with my poor rib still bruised from it and so much noise from my lungs I could drown out the spring birds.

Happy beginning of spring everyone!