- No one is responsible for your happiness but yourself. Lots of people like to argue this one because sometimes the choices we have to make to become happier are scary or unpleasant, but that doesn't change the fact that there are always choices we can make that will lead to better happier living.
- Everyone pees and poops. I realize how infantile that sounds, but it offers comfort in dark hours when it seems like everyone else is doing so much better than me. Donald Trump may be germ-phobic, but I like knowing that he makes as many germs as I do and he may sit on a golden toilet in his tower of Trump glory, but he still has to poop like everyone else. And it isn't golden.
- Perfection is like a Barbie doll with impossible breasts. I know a lot of perfectionists and they create some pretty amazing art and do some pretty impressive work, but at the end of the day, if perfection is torturing you, it's useless. I believe we should all constantly strive to become better at whatever we're doing, but aching to be perfect is as useless as trying to parch your thirst in a mirage of a spring. Plus, I have to say, perfection is really dull. No one is perfect, nothing is perfect.
- People, the world over, want the same things for their children. It's important to realize that no matter what religion a family is practicing, all parents want their children to have shelter, food, to outlive them, and have a chance at a better life. So when you're out there bombing little Islamic children and mothers along with their "terrorist" fathers, you are killing people with the same dreams and the same family love that you profess to be protecting for yourself. The only difference is that they have a different name for God. And they have some oil you want. Pretty lousy reason to obliterate a lot of people who are, beneath the robes of religion, just like you.
- Being fat sucks. While that's something I know for sure, I also know that while circumstances can sometimes make it obscenely easy to gain weight, it's still my own choice to remain fat. There's no injustice here. And let's be honest, while the fashion industry has been instrumental in making women believe (wrongly) that being as thin and mangy as a starved stray cat is the ideal, they're hardly responsible for making people find obesity unattractive. It just isn't as healthy looking as a person who looks like they might be capable of outrunning a wooly mammoth.
- Mental Illness is not an excuse for poor behavior, or for being miserable. But listen to me Tom Cruise and all you other wacky Scientology cult members: mental illness is not an imaginary condition. The brain is an organ just like the heart, and sometimes it doesn't work well. Being mentally ill is a physiological condition which can be treated. How many people would refuse to take medication for a heart condition? It's ridiculous to be willing to take advil for a headache, but not be willing to take paxil for anxiety, which is a real headache to live with.
- The Domestic Arts are a vital part of human development. Without the quaint home-ec skills we like to think of Aunt Mildred performing in her dusty attic, us humans would still be wearing nothing but the occasional untanned fur cape, foraging for whatever food we can find, and Catholicism would never have been able to promote such heavy childbearing because all of us would pretty much be dead by the age of thirty five. Food preservation in particular has advanced human kind in ways we now take for granted. Every person should read "Pickled Potted and Canned" by Sue Shepherd. It's entertaining and eye opening.
- There is no substitute for kindness. Everyone needs it. Money can't buy it. There are a million opportunities every day to show kindness to other people, other creatures, and the environment. Use some of those opportunities today, and every day that follows.
- Living life with grace is more important than living it importantly. What does that mean? The dictionary entry is very long, here's the short version, the grace that I am speaking of: n. 1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action. 3. favor or good will. 5. mercy; clemency; pardon: an act of grace. 8.b. the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them. (I believe the "spirit of God" may be interpreted to fit anyone's spirituality, because the "spirit of God" is essentially the same in all religions.) I believe every person on earth, no matter their circumstances, is capable of living life with grace. Even me.
- We are all going to die. I realize how dire that sounds. I don't mean we're all going to die in an Armageddon style catastrophe, just that it's an incontrovertible truth (and a thing I know for sure) that eventually each and every one of us has to die. The most pathetic thing I can imagine is spending the greater part of my allotted time on earth trying to look as though I will live forever and instead end up looking like a strange inbred wax person with large stiff breasts. Obsession with youth is wasted energy, every minute you spend trying to pretend you will never get old and die is time you could have spent enjoying the time you've been given. Plus, if you don't try to re-sculpt yourself with knives and needles and toxic chemicals that we try to keep out of preserves so you don't die eating them (botulism), you get to become more and more profoundly beautiful as only the old can be. Happiness and grace (and a good moisturizer) are all you need to grow old beautifully and live life well.
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