The Mother Of All Lists

On my way home tonight, on my bicycle, a car passed me on one of the narrow parts of Birch street and gave me almost no room to pass. The car was some kind of souped up 80's sports car, not the fancy kind either. Then as I got to fifteenth and Birch I heard the car coming back and my instinct told me to get myself the hell on the sidewalk because that last brush with the crude-penis-mobile felt intentional. I was just passing sixteenth street (looking for a place to get on the sidewalk) when the car sped up and passed me, and the idiot penis-head in the passenger seat threw something at me out their window which hit my leg. It hurt. It was their stupid super-sized Pepsi cup (almost full, thank you very much!). I'm pretty sure they have brains the size of fava beans and flea sized penises. I curse them.

Here is the list of things I have to accomplish before the sixteenth of November which is in eight days. EIGHT DAYS. I'm going to put it here on my blog because these things are all floating around like little pieces of shrapnel in my head and they must come out. Plus if any of my friends or relatives give me any guff for not calling, writing, or informing them of anything, I will refer them to this entry. It is recorded. I am almost certainly not going to be the best friend, sister, daughter, mother, wife, or citizen during this time. I am simply going to be an errand running machine with a special sewing attachment.

The Mother Of All Lists:

1. order two spiral racks

2. Order one seven foot wrapping counter in "maple"

3. Meet with Debrah, the rep for Terramoto, Thursday at 11:30am to put together an order

4. Make an appointment with Hagan Hamilton to change our store insurance

5. Make a list of people to be invited to Max's birthday party

6. make/buy invitations for said party and send them out

7. place a new order with Chronicle Books

8. make at least eight baby doll blankets

9. make more ribbon pins

10. have Anna's kids over to show them how to take care of the chickens and the ornery cat
while we're gone

11. Make a few cocktail aprons

12. buy Max new pants that aren't three inches too small for him and full of holes and blood
stains

13. buy Max new shoes. Basically, stock up on clothes for Max.

14. buy at least one new bra so I can wash the only one I have left that fits and isn't falling
apart
15. buy shelving for stock room

16. rent a truck to move all of our furniture to the new store

17. Pack up the back room contents

18. do the new window displays before going to California

19. put prices on everything in the store that's missing them

20. go to Yamhill to buy a couple ofneeded pieces of furniture to go in the newest new store

21. shop for all the things we'll need to bring with us on the trip

22. pack for the trip

23. get sedatives and anit-nausea pills from the vet for Chick. And flea medication too.

24. call the waste company to set up an account for the new store

25. notify the post office and UPS that we will be gone and to hold all deliveries

26. pay Miller's Hideaway for the dog treats before they set the feds on me

27. make gingerbread with other volunteers at Red Fox Bakery on Sunday

28. get the Vespa headlight fixed so I can bring it back home from the courtyard where it
shouldn't be

29. make embellishments for gift wrapping

30. set up store so it's ready to open the day after Thanksgiving.

31. make sure Philip doesn't get distracted from his huge list

Anyone else notice how hot it is in here? I need air. I...NEED...AIR...the palpitations are back. And I've got to say that that's just my list. Philip's list is fairly sizable too. I'm pretty sure he hasn't noticed that it all has to be done in eight days. I know him pretty well and I'd be willing to bet he still thinks we have at least ten days to do it all in.

People get this amount of stuff done in eight days all the time right? People without super powers, right? Normal people. Normal people accomplish this amount of shit in eight days all the time. This is the time when I'm supposed to examine what the worst case scenario is, such as "what if I don't get all of this done, what then?" But this time I can't ask that question because I know the answer will be: "YOU WILL DIE IN A FIERY PIT OF HELL" and that's just not something I want to hear right now.