The Walking Pocket

(and more insecure talk from the Dustpan Alley)

I can't tell you about this project because it might need to be secret. I realize how lame it is to not actually know if something you're working on needs to be secret or not. Either it does or it doesn't. The great thing about being so clueless is that it gives me the chance to be mysterious, which is very hard for full disclosure gals like me to achieve.

This pocket has walked away. The main question in your mind, I'm sure, is "why would a pocket walk away?" and while that is certainly a great question, the one I keep asking myself is "how?". It was right there one moment, looking bright with potential, then when there were no more customers to chat with, I turned around to work on this project and the pocket was gone. I searched the entire store. There are only so many places a pocket can hide, and I checked them all.

Now that the store is closing I must turn my mind to figuring out how on earth I will arrange my "studio" in our house. The "studio" is a very small bedroom with dark wood '70's paneling covering every wall surface, a built in desk in dark wood (possibly veneer, suddenly I can't remember), and gross oatmeal colored carpet. I can tell your mind is racing to figure out how you too can have such a wonderfully inspiring studio space.

As you all know, I've gotten used to the spacious area I currently refer to as the studio in the back part of the store. So if any of you were envious, now is your time to feel the glee. Bitter Betty works in a small space and so do many other genius crafters and artisans. A big space is not necessary. But a space with adequate light, an inspiring atmosphere, and good organization are very important. I didn't do any decorating the last time I had my base of operations in that little back bedroom.

I'm going to get all Martha on my ass.

That could sound really dirty if you weren't a non-lesbian prude like I am.

I will take lots of before pictures, during pictures, and just when I get as insufferable as a new parent with four rolls of film of the baby's first day of life, I will then bombard anyone who's left standing with a million after pictures.

I was thinking of doing the room in turquoise and red which are my store colors. However, it occurs to me that if Alicia Paulson were ever to see my studio, she would assume that I worship her and copied her. She's all over the turquoise and red combo. But if I do a robin's egg blue with pale serene green, I could never invite Martha Stewart over to my house because she would cease to respect me for stealing her signature color story and then she wouldn't get to discover what an excellent cook I am. (I would need to hide photographic evidence of the garden potage soup which turned out a khaki color, not the prettiest version of itself). So then I was thinking about doing a kind of spring green, orange, and pink color story. But I'll be damned if it doesn't make me think of Heather Baily.

So I'm going to go over to her studio right now to see what colors she's got going on there. Care to join me? Oh crap. I should not have done that. I really shouldn't have. What I really need is to see another designer who looks like a movie star, has patents pending, and is photographed in magazines and knows famous people.

My grandiose bubble is popped for the day.

How old are Heather and Alicia anyway? Is it too late for me to get thin, fresh*, and become a design genius? (I did have a great idea last night that I'm not going to share here because it was so exciting I want to savor it and feel as though I have patent pending too. Though it isn't actually something I could patent. But obviously I'm already a design genius, it's just that no one influential knows it yet.)

You know what I have going for me that none of those wonderful ladies has going for them? I'm funny. Totally funny. Except for when I'm talking about child suicide, cutting, depression, anxiety, death, necessary medication, being fat, self loathing, or my childish insecurities. Other than that, I'm hilarious.

Ah, hopefully I will be going to a craft fair today in Portland. I'm kind of excited about it. I might get to go with my friend Lisa E. Now that I don't have the store I might be able to do a couple of craft fairs with Lisa in addition to all the canning and farm fun we generally have. How cool would that be? (The answer is: totally cool!) Lisa doesn't know this, but I feel super lucky to be such good friends with her (actually, she may already know that). She's an exceptional knitter, a total cool babe, and yes-she has some of the best teeth I have ever seen. I will certainly report on the fair later if I end up getting to go.

I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday!


On a happy note, my guys came in to the shop yesterday and apologized for their crazed meanness yesterday morning. I also apologized for having carelessly removed their memory card (which was found in the lawn later, in tact) and promised to learn how to reset the screen so we don't run into this problem again. Philip also bought one of the remote controls that Capello mentioned and so all is smoothed over. Except for the part where I start looking for a child psychologist. I ordered a book that Violet Crumble recommended that may help too.




*Did you see Heather's dewy skin? Shit, you almost can't look at people that pretty.