An Inferno Not Unlike Hell Itself

These are beautiful beets I bought at the farmer's market. Some of them were kind of bitter though. Golden beets and Chioggias.


I almost always take my vacations to cold places in the winter time. This says a lot about me. I've been to Scotland twice but never seen it in the warm weather when every tourist attraction is open. When I go it's pouring icy rain or snowing. It's cold and makes your cheeks pink after you've walked all the cobbled streets of Edinburgh's old town. Pints of beer taste wonderfully invigorating after taking a long walk up in the icy rocky hills of the highlands where you had a little bit of a staring contest with a ram who wore very sharp horns.

When I was seven months pregnant in the summertime of 2000, we broke my rule of travel and visited my cousins in Wisconsin where I got bloody noses and almost passed out from the heat. In seven years I have not made this mistake again.

Not a pretty sight. If I had the energy I would lash out at the heat in anger. But I don't. Heat drains the life out of me. It gives me headaches, heat rashes, bloody noses, and sometimes nausea. Even when I'm not pregnant in it.

I woke up too late to water my garden freely without harming my plants. You have to water in the early morning to avoid sunburning your plant's leaves. If you water their leaves when a hot sun is shining directly down on their green lusciousness the leaves will wilt and turn brown where the water hit them. So when you wake up too late on a day like this you have two choices:

1) You can let all your plants die because you failed to water them the previous day

or 2) You can get your lazy ass out there with the hose and very carefully water only at the base of all the plants so they get the water without the burn. This is tedious work. Especially in a garden the size of mine. This is why smart people install a drip system before the middle of summer.

I did it because I have not nurtured that vegetable garden every day for two months only to let it expire on the first triple digit day of summer.

I joined the gym yesterday and fully intended to go for the first time today. But the thought of going there to purposely cause myself to perspire a lake's worth of sweat sounds so unappealing I think maybe I prefer to stay fat. I can perspire quite enough just by working on my apron for the apron book. I have to force myself to go. MUST KILL SELF WITH OWN SWEAT.

Speaking of aprons and patterns... I have to say that the most challenging thing about coming up with a pattern for other people to use is coming up with instructions that actually make sense. It's very difficult to describe actions that you have taken for granted such as how to make pin-tucks to people who may not know how to do them already. Along with my finished pattern I must furnish instructions for any of the less obvious parts of the apron construction. This tests my brain in a whole new way and it's good to get practice because I'm going to produce an apron pattern for a quilt shop in Washington to sell and it's important to me that anyone who buys it will have a positive experience making my apron.

The day is just getting away from me in spite of the fact that I can't move except in slow motion. I better go get on with what needs doing. I hope all of you are finding shelter from the heat!

For those of you purposely seeking the heat in order to sit under the light and bake yourselves into the color of a roast turkey: You are way weirder than me if you think cooked bird flesh is prettier than your natural glow. WAY WEIRDER. (Yeah, I realize most of you out there disagree and are happy to roast...I love you anyway.)