Chloe Sevigny builds better beds

Hi. I'm Chloe Sevigny and I am so bored. I'm bored of my life as a fashion-forward icon. I'm so bored of the Hollywood scene, which I was never even into anyway, even though I was into before it became cool. So I thought I would try doing something seriously useful, like sawing two by twelves. Now all the ho-bag non-intellectual stars that I'm too cool to admit I know are doing it too. So, like, I'm way more bored than I was before I sucked on my last lemon.

That's Philip watching our friend Sid work her ass off hauling wood from the garage (where I was having lots of fun using our circular saw) to the part of the garden where the raised beds will be. Can you believe that Sid actually requested that we do something "farmy" during her visit? She actually asked if we would make her work really hard! Just so you all know, Philip worked hard too. Just not in this picture.

That's Sid and her husband Dennis who is also our really good friend. They are demonstrating how married couples don't have to have brawls while working on projects together. Dennis is really good at laundry. I try not to hold it against him because I'm secretly really impressed. If I ever get to create a housewife finishing school, he has said he'll consider being the instructor for the laundry classes. He is currently a stay at home dad which gives him the necessary level of expertise. Plus he's German; if you didn't already know this: Germans generally excel at doing laundry.

Here we are with the finished beds. Aren't they beautiful? Want to know why I left the posts sticking up? There are a lot of visiting kitties in our yard who will view my raised beds as giant luxury litter boxes. I will need to drape netting over them to keep them out.

This is a little like the cabbage post. You didn't think I could resist a little more camp photography, did you? I've got my serious craftsman face on. Don't I look serious enough about my craft that you would trust me to build you almost anything? I didn't realize it until now, looking at this picture, that I've got the awful hair back. Geeze, why does it grow into a conservative mop so fast?

I think I have some garden greed issues. As soon as these beds were finished I was thinking about how I need at least double this amount. Two beds alone will be filled with potatoes. Two more for tomatoes. That only leaves four. I'm already feeling a panic attack come on. How will I have enough room for beans, carrots, squash, lettuce, spinach, cucumbers, and beets?

I have the heart of a farmer. I certainly have the heritage of a farmer. There was a time when I was five that I really wanted to be a princess. I'll admit it. I had a little Cinderella complex I'm not proud to admit I had. But I learned very fast that my bones are not dainty. My skin is not pure. My hair won't coif. I learned that my desires and my dreams were much too earthy to be royal. I came to appreciate my own lumbering ways. I found myself embracing my rather modest heritage. I took pleasure in not feeling the need to find out that I was descended from Cleopatra who seems like a pretty messed up lady anyway.

I'm not really sure what the Polish and Norwegian side of my family is all about. I have gotten very little information from my father. In fact, my father has very little information about his father. But I do know that there is a semi-well known poet in the Norwegian family tree. I can't remember his name now and wish to god I'd written it down when my father told me about him. He wrote poetry!

I do know that the French side of my mom's family tree were all farmers. And when they immigrated to Canada they became fur trappers. Her mother's side was really poor and uneducated. My mom hesitated to even call them farmers. There was definitely some southern Baptist preaching going on on that side. They were originally from Alabama, though my mom's mom grew up in Missouri.

That all has absolutely nothing to do with anything.

I guess it all had to do with the illustration of my pride in coming from humble stock.

I'm so excited to plant out my raised beds! I guess I better order some soil, huh?