A World Of Wax Turkeys

The picture you see here has nothing to do with anything. Just a pretty memento of kitchen counters past. I mentioned to my friend Lisa that I really wanted a fake turkey for my holiday display and like the wonderful friend she is, she found me one! Actually, she found me several, but knowing how I haven't got an income yet, she searched high and low for one that I could afford. It's made out of wax and is scented, which I think is kind of creepy. Lisa is a wonderful researcher and if you ever need to find things, she's your gal...only you'll have to find your own research gal because she's a little busy right now uncovering the fake food industry for me and my future mad mad window displays!!!!! I'm a little afraid to find out that the only reason I evedr wanted to have a store, and the only reason I ever wanted to dress windows is so that I would have an excuse to purchase fake food.

That's right. This fake food thing runs kind of deep with me. When I was eight years old I used to make grocery bags full of fake groceries for my barbies. I used real grocery bags cut down to miniature size, but did not neglect to include the little round divet that grocery bags used to have at the top. I used millet for cereal which I put in tiny cereal boxes that I made myself. I made little cartons of donuts using fruit loops as the donuts. I ground up those sparkly white rocks that some people think make great landscaping and used the resulting sparkly white granules as sugar and salt. I also used to make play-dough fake food. Plates of eggs with toast was a favorite.

For a history project in ninth grade I made a visual aid using an egg carton in which I had carefully made it look like there were broken eggs inside (symbolizing something important, I'm sure). I made the yolks out of yellow playdough and then covered the yolks with clear glue for the whites. It looked really realistic and the teacher was impressed. Sadly, the boy I had a mad crush on at the time didn't see me for the odd genius I was and ignored me.

There's also a slightly hazy memory of my parents having a friend who worked for a foam props company that also made fun things like french-fry pens and I adored the fake food they tried to make real. This is one of those memories that is so hazy it almost seems like I had to have imagined it, yet it fits in there somewhere. I just know it. It's a joyful memory.

Later there was the fake fruit collection begun from gems found at garage sales and junk shops which grew to be pretty impressive. Then burned up in that roaring attic fire letting off what must have been the most toxic fumes Beaver Street had ever been exposed to. I admit that I mourned privately and tried to act like I didn't care when in public.

On examination, it seems my whole life has been one long obsession with realistic looking fake food. This is one of those things it may be best not to examine too closely. I will simply enjoy knowing that there is a wax turkey being packed up right now for me to play with. Make of that what you will!