She's So Mental

I have, for years, wished to find (or create) a public place where mentally ill people like myself can go and feel comfortable in their own skin for a little while. To feel that they are amongst their own kind and safe from the portion of the populace who doesn't really believe in mental illness and are always wanting to convince you that it's all just a matter of meditating every morning. How much better would such a place be if it was populated by other mentally ill people who are able and intent on articulating what our collective experiences are like? No two mentally ill people are going to be having the exact same experience, and yet, there are a tremendous number of commonalities between us.

I have often been adamantly against any kind of automatic groupings of people such as "clubs" for men, or any kind of exclusionary groups. I don't like being excluded and I try not to exclude others. However, I am becoming more acutely aware of the importance of having groups and places where you can go to to let your hair down around like-minded people. Church is a club for spiritually like-minded people to congregate, share their faith, and feel safe and comfortable enough to open up about their spirituality knowing that most of the people around them share very similar views and feelings.

Life can get very lonely if you don't find places to go where there are like minded people. Here in the blog world I have found plenty of places where I can talk pretty much non-stop about the details of putting in a zipper and no one will roll their eyes and tap their feet or cut me off. I have found great places to discuss gardening and all things plants. To share stories about food and drink and recipes and also places to hear and tell the truth about parenting makes all of these aspects of my life more illuminated. If you can't find it in your own "real life" community, you can surely find it on line.

I had not, until about a week ago, found such a place where I could go and feel at home with my mental illness.

I am happy to have all different kinds of people come visit my blog. It doesn't bother me that many people who come here are a lot more mentally balanced than I am. It's good to have open conversations with all different kinds of people from all different walks of life. We can learn more about each other and foster better understanding when we welcome each other into our personal worlds.

However, I will admit that there are plenty of times when I long to be somewhere where no one is going to suggest that "everyone is a little crazy" or ask the questions "what is 'normal' anyway? Is anyone really normal?" (The answer to that is YES. YES! Lots of people have never had a dissociative moment in their lives. Lots of people have never plotted their own deaths or stood at the edge of a cliff and come breathlessly close to jumping. Lots of people have never carved their own skin with razors or passed out from a panic attack.) A place where no one is trying to convince me I'm not really crazy because they believe the label "crazy" is only for someone who is no longer functioning as a human being and depression and anxiety don't count because "everyone" experiences them.

My life has been one long mental management session. I knew I was different in the head from most of my peers by the time I was twelve years old. I wish to god I had gotten the help I needed back then. I wish to god that I had had options put before me besides "be strong and prosper" when I was a teen. Most teens have a hard time with life at least for a while. Hormones wreak havoc and adjusting to the transition to adulthood can be very difficult. Being a teen with a broken brain is even worse. When I was a teen I was experiencing auditory hallucinations such as children being murdered in the parking lot of the apartment building we lived in. I was scared of my own mind and desperately wished someone would notice and send me to a proper facility.

I have finally found a place to hang out when I'm feeling out of place with my crazy. When I need to feel less alone with the never ending necessity to micro-manage my mental health there is somewhere I can go to hear intelligent discussions about the pit falls of living with a brain disorder for which there is no cure. Not only are the contributors to the site good writers, they are also sometimes very funny. Ahhhh........

So if you are like me and need a place to feel at home with your mental illness go check out RealMental. Everyone is welcome to go there. But if you're not actually mentally ill, treat it as you would a church of a different faith than yours: with respect.