Farm-girl Mathilda's Sartorial Sermon
Even hazel-nuts look pretty to me, even though I would rather feed them to worms than eat them myself.It is a gorgeous fall day out there, crisp, sunny, and I am dressed in my dirty old boots...but I'm not wearing knee length pants! My hair does not look like it would impress any conservative politicians, I'm wearing lipstick, AND A SKIRT. I happen to love skirts and dresses, but since gaining all the weight I did last year, I find them uncomfortable to wear and fairly ugly on my figure. However, I have a skirt that isn't hideous on me and so I wore it. My inspiration lately is the character named Suki on the Gilmore Girls show. The actor's name is Melissa McCarthy. I love her. I think she's beautiful, spazzy, charming, and cute cute cute, and it just so happens that she's at least as large as I am. I know you're thinking now that I'm a repressed lesbian, but look, why be repressed about it in this day and age when all the cool people on earth couldn't care less who you're partnering up with? Trust me, if I was a lesbian I would have paired up with my friend Cam years ago. Incidentally, she's not a lesbian either.
But now I'm way off topic, which is that Melissa McCarthy is so cool and puts my whole attitude about dressing my size to shame. The only thing her character wears that doesn't look good on her is leather skirts. Everything else? Well, her clothes don't make her look skinny, but they make her character's personality shine through. Do my clothes do that for me? No, because I'm so scared of looking ridiculous in the things I like. I used to LOVE getting dressed every day. Now I just want to wear something that won't make people laugh at my fat ass for trying to look more alive than a Walmart employee. If I had known, when I was seventeen, that I would fall into such a sartorial hell I probably really would have killed myself. Good thing I can't see the future. What if it gets worse and I start wearing tight black leggings with huge t-shirts?
The truth is: I feel a lot more like myself today. Yes, this outfit does not make me look taller or leaner or emphasize my barely there waist, but you know what? I feel prettier and more like myself. So whatever. Embrace the fat. I guess it's time I embrace being the exuberant fat chick who looks no less fat in her colorful tiered skirt, but damn! What a cool skirt, huh? I'm going to a Weight Watcher's meeting tonight but I'm pretty sure I will have gained some back. I have not been a good plain-salad-eating-bunny this week. I had myself a few run-ins with a very pushy block of part-skim mozarella cheese. I'm not giving up. I'm going to work at this until I make more progress. It just might take me two years to lose the weight. Just like it did after having Max. I did lose it, it just took a really long time to change my habits. It will this time too. In the mean-time, I've got to finish these damn aprons so I can make myself a couple of really colorful skirts that may show off just how fat I am, but will lift my spirit because I'll know that no one in K-mart is wearing the same thing.
Tomorrow I will post a picture of myself with Flower-Bud, our barred rock who is getting close to becoming a real hen. I will post the picture because I don't have hateful hair in it. (I haven't gotten it cut yet, I'm just not allowing myself to pull it back in the big barrett.) Plus, Flower-Bud is looking really prime with her stripes all lined up and her winter feathers all fluffed.
I found a copy of MaryJanesFarm yesterday and it's so wonderful, it's the apron issue. I first found out about this magazine from a blog I like to read called "PamKittyMorning" (which you can check out by using my links where it is listed). Anyway, on the inside of the cover is a quote from the author of the magazine, MaryJane Butters, which I would like to copy for you here as it expresses exactly how I have always felt about aprons and wish more women would understand and embrace:
"I wear aprons because they speak glamour. Being a farmer is all about dirt. And people expect me to dress the part. Showing up in a rickracked, embroidered apron gussies up the grit my profession requires. And I consider even my daintiest of aprons a symbol of female power."
MaryJane Butters.
AMEN! So let's put an end to the whole myth of the apron being a symbol of woman's subservience to men. It was never about that until feminism villified the image of woman as a powerful part of the most important thing in all of our lives: our homes and families. You don't have to be a homemaker to wear an apron and enjoy it's glamour. Your female power can be used anywhere you want to go in life. But for god's sake! Cast off those foul sweats when you clean house and cook! Give yourself a little respect! Get pretty, get gussied, and put as much love into yourself as you do into the other things you do! Why should any of us purposely look frumpy to do these things that serve as the ballast from which we hang the lights of our lives?
The truth is: I feel a lot more like myself today. Yes, this outfit does not make me look taller or leaner or emphasize my barely there waist, but you know what? I feel prettier and more like myself. So whatever. Embrace the fat. I guess it's time I embrace being the exuberant fat chick who looks no less fat in her colorful tiered skirt, but damn! What a cool skirt, huh? I'm going to a Weight Watcher's meeting tonight but I'm pretty sure I will have gained some back. I have not been a good plain-salad-eating-bunny this week. I had myself a few run-ins with a very pushy block of part-skim mozarella cheese. I'm not giving up. I'm going to work at this until I make more progress. It just might take me two years to lose the weight. Just like it did after having Max. I did lose it, it just took a really long time to change my habits. It will this time too. In the mean-time, I've got to finish these damn aprons so I can make myself a couple of really colorful skirts that may show off just how fat I am, but will lift my spirit because I'll know that no one in K-mart is wearing the same thing.
Tomorrow I will post a picture of myself with Flower-Bud, our barred rock who is getting close to becoming a real hen. I will post the picture because I don't have hateful hair in it. (I haven't gotten it cut yet, I'm just not allowing myself to pull it back in the big barrett.) Plus, Flower-Bud is looking really prime with her stripes all lined up and her winter feathers all fluffed.
I found a copy of MaryJanesFarm yesterday and it's so wonderful, it's the apron issue. I first found out about this magazine from a blog I like to read called "PamKittyMorning" (which you can check out by using my links where it is listed). Anyway, on the inside of the cover is a quote from the author of the magazine, MaryJane Butters, which I would like to copy for you here as it expresses exactly how I have always felt about aprons and wish more women would understand and embrace:
"I wear aprons because they speak glamour. Being a farmer is all about dirt. And people expect me to dress the part. Showing up in a rickracked, embroidered apron gussies up the grit my profession requires. And I consider even my daintiest of aprons a symbol of female power."
MaryJane Butters.
AMEN! So let's put an end to the whole myth of the apron being a symbol of woman's subservience to men. It was never about that until feminism villified the image of woman as a powerful part of the most important thing in all of our lives: our homes and families. You don't have to be a homemaker to wear an apron and enjoy it's glamour. Your female power can be used anywhere you want to go in life. But for god's sake! Cast off those foul sweats when you clean house and cook! Give yourself a little respect! Get pretty, get gussied, and put as much love into yourself as you do into the other things you do! Why should any of us purposely look frumpy to do these things that serve as the ballast from which we hang the lights of our lives?