In The Fitting Room

It's a little uncanny how much I look like my Grandfather in this picture. I have got identical jowls to his! I'm impressed that I have been able to cultivate them by the age of 38, it took him at least 60 years to get his going in full swing. Glorious! This picture is for Emma from the blog "My Three Loves" who knitted and felted this most amazing scooter scarf for me. It's super long so I can wrap it around many times and has bobbles on it. She knitted it for me in exchange for a jar of my vanilla pears.

Yes, the pears are THAT good.

But, for the record, I paid for the yarn. It was labor for labor. This scarf is now my security scarf. I own two extraordinary knitted/felted items now, both made by friends: my felted purse with the green glitter handles that Lisa E. made for me, and this scarf. I will have to photograph both for you more attractively, but not today. Too much to do.

This week has been about shopping for clothes. It's something I loath doing. I would have preferred to make clothes but I honestly don't have time for it and I finally realized it a couple of days ago. I always wait until it gets really dire. I was down to three pairs of pants (though only two of them were truly comfortable) and no unholy socks (Most of my socks are four or five years old) and three or four shirts that fit. Which means I do a lot of laundry to keep in clothes.

Yesterday Philip dropped me off at Macy's to shop. I've already scoured my local second hand shop, Ross, and our local fat lady clothes shop with the stupid name "The Fashion Bug". I failed to find a fancy shirt to wear to my Dad's wedding. It's black tie. I tried on some dresses and couldn't possibly have looked more dismally like Divine...what's depressing is that I actually looked WORSE than Divine...I really could have used some over the top make up. Dresses and skirts are OUT for me. I found a nice pair of pin-striped, cuffed, knee length pants that could be dressed up for a wedding. Clearly I'm not going to pull off a real black tie ensemble but one of my few true talents is dressing up casual clothes to look fancy enough to meet a queen in.

So all I needed was to find a fancy top to go with it. Something really dressy. Or else a tux style top. I found some white cotton tuxedo style tops but they made me look like a super-frump. After a mere two hours of trying on all kinds of tops meant to make large ladies look like stuffed deli meat, I finally found a lovely teal colored semi-fitted lacy top. I knew it was going to work when I didn't want to smash the mirror in the dressing room.

Of course it wasn't on sale.

What is it with all the giant fake jewels they put on clothes for plus size people? It insults me that designers assume that all large ladies are tacky. Most of them are also covered in crazy-bright patterns, real Pucci-esque numbers in bubblegum pink, apple green, bright yellow, and royal blue. I would never have dressed in such bejeweled patterns when I was a regular sized person, why would increasing my body mass make me more likely to adorn myself in such hideosity?

There's probably a psychology there but I don't feel like working that angle.

So what I need now is the perfect red lipstick, some really sparkly chandelier earrings and I need to transform a couple of red velvet millinery roses into hair ornaments. I plan to wear red forties-style platform sandals and paint my toenails red too. I'll look so fancy all the people in long gowns will wonder how it is they ended up looking so casual. Of course, they'll also think I'm a fat freak, but that won't matter.

Macy's always pulls through for me. I love Macy's. The one I went to in Portland doesn't have a MAC counter though and I found that quite distressing.

This is a nine day trip.

I haven't been out of the country since January of 2000. I have my passport, but what else do I need? Plug converters for the camera battery chargers and the laptop (Philip says we have one already and he saw it recently), my portable CD player with MP3's that Philip is making for me, notebooks, cameras, a book (I'll have to get one), but what else? Help me make my list! I'm usually quite a good packer. I rarely over pack. I'll bring two pairs of shoes, one for every day use and the fancy pair for the wedding. I always bring enough underwear to get me through the trip and socks too. But I'll only bring two or three pairs of pants, plus three or four tops (not including the wedding outfit). I'll do one load of laundry while there.

I rarely bring more than the basics in makeup and jewelry and other sundries. I keep it simple.

The last time we traveled we used our ATM to get cash, the machines automatically convert the currency and the rate was better than when going into the bank. Has anyone got thoughts on whether it's best to get traveler's checks or to just get money as needed from atms? What do you usually do?

I will make a list later in the day. Right now it's time to shower and get dressed. Philip is going to learn to brew beer today with his good friend Richard who's coming over soon. I'm still in my jammies. I think it's time to get dressed so I can go play Legos with Max as I promised him I would do.

Please, share your thoughts on travel necessities!