Where's Your Damn Apron Woman?

Farm-girl Mathilda poses with her dog and her serious farm tool. See how the dog is looking intent? What you can't tell from the photo is that the dog has spotted, and coveted, that flower pin on my sweater. They will later connect up in the hallway in a clandestine meeting of carnivorous teeth and tender fabric covered button. I already miss that pin. I guess it's a good thing I am making more of them for the shop.

Flower-bud is on the verge of birdie "woman-hood". It doesn't matter how many hippies raised me, that still sounds so icky. It reminds me of my fourteenth birthday, standing outside of Geppetto's in Ashland Oregon (where we lived), my Dad congratulating me on having become a real woman because of getting my first period. I cannot even describe to you the thousand flushes of shame that tortured me in that moment of public humilliation. I am not a goddessy person who revels in my menstrual cycles. Yuck. Nothing about getting a period is fun or beautiful. (Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be a woman, I just am not particularly sentimental about bleeding every month.) (Oh, and if any men are reading this and are getting amazingly uncomfortable, if it will make you feel better, I will be happy to discuss the joys of manhood such as "blue-balls" and getting "woodies" at every possible inappropriate moment of your life...)

It's difficult to get a good picture of Flower-Bud. She's shy and is always running from the camera like a poultry version of Greta Garbo. I do like this picture of me because I'm pretty sure I look like someone Joan Rivers would put in the paltry dresser category which is highly desirable because she (and her daughter) both have absolutely NO FASHION SAAVY or credibility. It would be just as much an honor to be on her dissed list as it would be to be condemned by the ever stodgy "Mr. Black". What I want to know is who the hell made Mr. Black and Joan Rivers the fashion judges of the red carpet? Mr. Black is who? What has he ever done to suggest I respect his opinions? Those people would have us all look identical if they could rule the world. That's right, Melissa has already worked hard with her surgeons to make her face exactly like her mother's. The biggest mystery is what was Joan trying to look like? Michael Jackson?

I have a Dustpan Alley announcement:


For anyone who lives in our area (or the portland area) you are invited to attend our GRAND OPENING PARTY on October the 20th, between 5 and 7pm. We will be serving wine and some food. You can see what predicament BBQ Bob has gotten into and ogle the new aprons I have made. Please come! We are the underdogs who need your support.

So the update on the webstore is that Northwest Online is trying to fix a problem with the shopping carts and have shakily suggested the site might be able to go up next friday (the day of our Grand Opening) but they definitely didn't feel confident enough to commit to that. I'm going to say right here that this project is now at least a month longer getting done than we imagined it would take. (Two months longer than I thought.) Keep your fingers crossed that it goes up next friday. I will be so upset if we find ourselves still holding our breaths into January, missing all the holiday shopping. We will become street people by then. The program we are using is new and a little experimental. I am nervous that it will also not work well.

It's lucky for us I canned so much food huh? I mean, if we miss the biggest retail quarter of the year, instead of starving we can eat pears, jam, pickles, and tomatoes. Sadly, we will die in early November if we must subsist on what I put up for the winter. I was trying to do a mental tally of the minimum you would have to can in order to get through the winter without buying any produce from the store...pretty staggering actually. Kudos to all of our ancestors who actually had to to it in earnest. Jesus! They worked harder for their living than any of us lazy-asses do today.

If anyone local is reading this post, please tell me where to go for good Halloween decorations that isn't Walmart. Santa Rosa had, like, fifty different party decoration and costume shops for getting festive for Halloween. I also need to locate a smoking jacket that will fit BBQ Bob who is at least 6' tall and really thin. Any ideas? Don't be shy, share!!